Hikaru Runs Away rewrite
by KagomeGirl021
Summary: Hika/Aki may become pg13. this is about how hikaru and akira had a big fight. Hikaru runs away only to unexpectedly comeback unrecognizable and win akira's heart.New Ch16 is up unbetaed.
1. Hikaru Runs

Hellow Everyone!!! here is the first Installment of the Story. Thanks to Eos-hime who is now my co-Authoress, this is an Un-betaed version. one the betaing is done i will repost this fic. Enjoy!!!

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**Chapter 1**

Anger and pain

Pachi!

Placing his stone Hikaru gazed at Akira, no matter how many times they played He would never grow tired of that solid expression on other face.

Pachi!

They were close match now, Hikaru got few win against Akir in formal games, which made them both happy.

Pachi!

Pachi!

Counting points Hikaru realized that he lost, so...

"I resign." and started to clean his stones "Thanks for the game."

"Thanks for the game." Akira looked trubled by something "Ne, tell me Hikaru - kosumi that you used." to tell you the truth that game made Akira recall other one – from the past – game with unstoppable Sai, only by few moves but still.

"What's wrong with my kosumi?" Hikaru picked up his fan "If you are going to ask me about Him I'm going home."

"I was thinking lately, your games are alike to His." said Akira

"I don't want to talk about that, Akira you know how much..." Hikaru stood up

"You promised that you would tell me, but even now... Who exactly is he?" Akira didn't knew what agitated him so much, maybe it was fact that Hikaru played someone else and didn't want Akira to know – or perhaps reason was even easier, that other person was loved by Hikau to the greatest extent, so much that they used the same moves.

"It was you who said that I'm the game I play. Last time asked you to never return to this. I will tell you at some point, when it won't hurt so much." Hikaru was now trembling, memory of empty room all those years ago, pain of thinking that he shouldn't play Go.

"You are not only one who..."

"I'm the only one. Sai had chosen me, me alone! He left me with his will..." Hikaru rushed to doors, but unfortunatly he heard Akira last words – said out of anger and pain.

"You? You cannot even play them right, His extraordinary moves are just a fake when you play them." Akira noticed that other boy stopped "That Sai is probably toying with you."

"I have believed that you see me as your equal" Hikaru whisper reached Akira and shocked him 'cos that voice couldn't belong to Hikaru – so cold and empty. "But if you see my games that way, I shall live." Shining lights in his eyes were now icy just like all those years ago, when he refused to play.

"Shindou... wait, I didn't mean to..." Akira tried to come closer but Hikaru didn't let him to do so.

"Sai would never hurt me like this, it was Him... from Him I have learned, even now from old kifu's I'm still learning from Him." with trembling hands Hikaru opened his fan and covered face so no one would see his tears. "There is no player that can play His moves as perfect as He did, but calling mine fake ones is too much." Hikaru bit his lip and shouted "I don't want to see you... never!" with those words Hikaru run as fast as he could, he also believed that those words hurt him more than Akira. Months ago he realized who was Akira for him, each day it was hard to call him properly Touya and now... - why?

"He still can see only Sai hand, I'm just substitute."

**Later**

Hikaru entered his room and looked around, that place was comforting him – memories of Sai and kifu smell was only things that could calm him this fast. But this time anger was greater, hard to bear with. Hikaru sat down and reached out to get his letters that mother left on his desk.

"Maybe I should reconsider that Offer from USA." He whispered " I can play Go wherever I am." His mind focused on that idea, being student in USA High School and later University – offer that came from old teacher met at last Amateur Tournament. "Adam-sensei was nice and said that they would even provide me with scholarship." Boy looked at fan "Tell me Sai, should I go there? I no longer know what to do, if He don't see me as equal I have nothing left. Accept your will and goal, but that I can reach anywhere" his eyes focused kifu's. Many of them belonged not to Sai, but to Akira "Why are you doing this to me? Can't you see... Why?" biting his lip Hikaru tried to stop tears from coming.

Next day Hikaru knew what to do, whether it was good decision or bad there was no other choice – not now when he decided to not see Akira again. He had money, at least for the beginning. It was hard to believe but mother was happy to hear that – apparently she saw that as way to cut him from Go, that strange unknown world.

"Call that teacher and get all informations."

"Yes, mother. He said that they only need my approval – it maybe fast from now on." with those words Hikaru grabbed his phone end returned to his room.

**Few day's later**

With calm face Hikaru left office, it was his last time here at Go Institute – at least for a while. After that game his break will be announced officially. Supervisor was shocked, but as he heard about America he stopped talking back.

"Now, with who I'm playing today..." mumbled Hikaru to himself "Isumi-san, I'm glad after all it was him who helped me out back then."

"Good luck." with slight bow Isumi smiled at him

"Good luck." responded Hikaru and game started

Pachi!

Pachi!

Flow of the stones was little of, but Hikaru still had adventage. He looked at Isumi, elder brother that who he was to Hikaru – ever since Insei day's, no matter what was wrong it was Isumi who knew what to do.

Pachi!

Pachi!

"Thank you." said Hikaru "I'm grateful."

"Shindou, is something...?" Isumi who was placing his next stone stopped "What's the matter?"

"Play, I don't have much time." Hikaru looked at clock "I want to enjoy that game to the fullest. Promise me that whatever happens you won't look for me."

"Ano... Shindou?"

Pachi!

Pachi!

"And here." said Hikaru completing his shape of stones.

"I resign." said Isumi

"Thank you, Isumi I haven't told anyone here." Shindou looked all over the room " Akira won't know since he don't have a game today. I would also ask you to keep it for yourself." he handed him little note "That is the school I will be in."

"If that is what you want." Isumi forced smile "Touya said something to you, didn't he?"

"Save it Isumi, I have already decided. My goal is Hand of God and I cannot reach it if my rival doesn't see me as equal. I will find a way... maybe my true rival is there." Hikaru turned to doors "I have a flight today, I should be going." with that words he left.

"He is shattered." said Isumi to himself "He acted tough, but who he was trying to fool. Touya what have you done?"

Two hours later Hikaru stood in his room with last bag in his hand, it pained him – to leave that room in which he played with Sai.

"I wonder, am I doing the right thing? Answer to me, please Sai!" that question didn't left him until he got into plane.

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A/N: if anyone feels the need to input ideas feel free to. ^_~ it's always welcome


	2. New Life

**Chapter 2**

**New life**

Hikaru looked around, so that was his new school – extraordinary place. Huge campus with gardens and anything that students would need.

"Why would they need me here?" asked Hikaru himself "Students here must be high class people."

"It looks like that, isn't it?" asked calm voice "But you will learn, fact that will live better lives doesn't mean that we have no troubles" girls offer him her hand and introduced herself "I'm Shelly, its safe to assume that you are Hikaru, isn't it?" somehow it didn't seam improper to Hikaru, that girl... or maybe that country – here everything was...

"I'm Shindou Hikaru, I will be in your care from now on." said Hikaru with small bow

"Did I made you uncomfortable?" asked girl "We are using our first names, you should get used to that." while she talked they reached School Office "You are to speak with headmaster, our teacher is there already."

"Here goes nothing." said Hikaru and pushed the doors "Good morning."

That room was filled with known smell, old documents and wood, there was even a Goban. White haired old man and Adam-sensei played, sound of placed stones calmed Hikaru soul. He stood with respect and observed the game, they both were good – not at Pro level but still strong.

"I resign" said old man "Thank you for the game."

"Thank you for the game." Adam-sensei looked at Shindou "Sorry that you had to wait like this boy, but once we start..."

"That is not something you must tell me." said Hikaru "I'm happy to see that Go is played even here. With the same intensity as in Title Match"

"How flattering, it's a pleasure to meet you." said Headmaster "Shindou-sensei."

"I will be in your care. It's fine to call me in normal way, Here its sounds strange." Hikaru was sure now, that place would make him forget... if anything can – it would be that place.

"I hope that you will be happy here" said teacher "I don't know why you changed your mind, but I hope that you will reach your goal."

"Thank you." Hikaru made his way to the window by which he could see some boy's running laps around the pitch. "Your offer came in right time, I had to..." he didn't know what to tell for that point.

"I won't ask, neither will Headmaster – your reasons can stay with you." man put his hand on Hikaru shoulder "You are too young to live such life, you were not born with such duty." Seeing Hikaru shocked face man smiled " I have checked, some day you just appeared, no knowing anything about Go World or Pro's."

"That's..." Headmaster stopped Hikaru from telling more

"We won't ask about that, meaning behind your ability doesn't concern us." smiling at boy's shocked face he continued, "That school has many types of students, but everyone here has reasons to be in St. Peter Academy. Special abilities, belonging to rich families or those which live behind the scene. Reason is usually the same, they don't want to be used by their families or the world."

"I'm not sure than..."

"You are suffering to and the reason is your ability. You were taken by unknown world, its not strange that you went with the wind. You are in pain – I suspected that." Headmaster turned and left with those words "Adam will tell you what you should do."

"Ano, Adam-sensei did I looked that bad in the Tournament?" Hikaru placed his hand on the Goban.

"You were unsure and all you will to go on was placed on one person – I'm guessing now, but did he... how should I put it?" Teacher seamed to be nervous.

"I have realized that he does not see me as an equal, with such I cannot reach my goal – neither of two." touching the stones Hikaru smiled, "I was someone who came across, without a rival." He took out his fan and covered his face, "My existence was not needed."

"I hope that you won't think like that here." Teacher looked at Hikaru with sympathy "That school will help you."

**In Japan**

Isumi looked around the room, Hikaru wasn't there – which would mean that he actually left. There was no other option since his name disappeared from the board, Isumi checked that right after coming, but he was pretty sure that no one realized that.

"Hello, Isumi-san." Touya greeted other Pro "Have you seen Shindou?"

"Yesterday." said older boy trying to to scream from anger "Did something happen? You should know the best where is he."

After those words Isumi left Akira alone, he didn't want to make a scene here – that wasn't Hikaru wish. He sat on his seat and waited for Waya arrival, it was going to be a hard day – Waya treasured their friendship with Shindou. After all only Shindou knew about them – only with him they could just be. It's lasted since their Insei days, with an understanding between them.

Akira looked at board to find out if Hikaru had match today, but to his shock other boy name wasn't there at all. During past week they didn't see each other. Ever since that quarrel in Salon Akira felt uneasy – now he was trembling, he could hear his own heartbeats.

"You didn't knew." commented voice behind him "That is strange, in fact I planned to ask you what school asked him in." continued Ochi "But if you don't know, then who does?"

"What?" Akira heard beat even faster "I don't understand."

"Shindou was asked to join some sort of high class school in America." said Ochi "But even my grandfather couldn't find out which one it was, apparently Shindou forbid any comments in that matter"

"America?" Akira froze "Did he leave already?" time has stopped for a second.

"I don't know, he was here yesterday." Ochi went to take his seat since it was time to start the games. Isumi stopped himself from telling the truth, he could not afford to make such mistake – he was to act as if he didn't know anything.

"I must talk to him." whispered Akira "What is he thinking, he cannot leave. We are rivals, we are..." without a word he left the room and took cab. There was nothing as important as seeing Shindou now – for the past week he struggled unsure what to do, but now "If you go what will be left of me? Can it be, that you would leave me?"

_**Flashback**_

_Intensity of his eye's when he said that..._

"I'm the only one. Sai had chosen me, me alone! He left me with his will..."

_Emptiness once I said those words..._

"You? You cannot even play them right, His extraordinary moves are just a fake when you play them. That Sai is probably toying with you."

_My heart stopped at that time..._

"I have believed that you see me as your equal."

_He didn't let me come closer..._

"Sai would never hurt me like this, it was Him... from Him I have learned, even now from old kifu's I'm still learning from Him. There is no player that can play His moves as perfect as He did, but calling mine fake ones is too much."

Can it be that Sai... what did he meant by saying 'was'?

"I don't want to see you... Ever Again!"

I won't let you. Never... I have only you.

End of the Flashback

Akira stood before Hikaru house with realization that he had never entered this house, not even once. He only played him at Salon or his own home, why was that he wondered.

"I was always in hurry to play you" Akira lowered his head "I have never listened and you probably have your own board on which you want to play."

"Who are you?" asked voice from behind "Oh, I'm sorry Touya-san" Akari recognized him "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to visit Shindou" said Akira "He wasn't at Institute today so..."

"You mean that you don't know?" something in her voice made his heart stop "But from the other hand if it's like that... I think I know now." her attitude changed "I don't know what have you done, but it's to late now. Hikaru left already." Akari eyes were tearing "He said the he will find new life there, in a place that no one knows him... In a place that He himself will be important." she grabbed boy shoulder "I hate you! What have you done to him?!" with those words she turned back and run.

"New life?" Akira whispered "In deed what have I done?" he dropped to his knees "I'm sorry, sorry... Kami-sama, onegai, if you would return him to me..." Akira soul broke in that very moment

Flashback

His eyes back then, was he serious?

"I don't want to see you... Ever Again!"

No, please... don't leave me!

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Idea of the school is from Gauken Heaven – despite the fact that in our's will be girls too. Thanks Eos-hime

Well school for talented is good place for Shindou now. - he will make good friends and learn many things to become a new Shindou.


	3. Uneasy Times

Disclaimer: I don't own Hikaru or Akira cuz if I did they would always get together and have many cute babies.

**BTW: Thank you again Eos-hime!!!**

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**Chapter 3 **

**Uneasy times**

Hikaru awoke with sudden feeling of pain, as if someone was calling to him – it was painful. That unknown room couldn't take away those feelings. His heart cried to go back, he was missing... his room full of Sai scent and...

"No, I must win it over." his whisper died in silence "I have no place to go back to, he won't miss me anyway." Hikaru looked at Goban and game which he replayed last night – his first game."That day shouldn't have happened, if I didn't meet Akira back then..." his words were stopped by sudden noise. Figure covered in back jumped to his room. In one second he was pressed down to the floor.

"Shhh... let me hide for a while."

"Eee... what happened?" shocked Hikaru tried to concentrate "Who are you?"

"Sorry." other one stood up and helped Hikaru "I'm Greg." he smiled "Are you Hikaru?"

"That's correct." Hikaru bowed slightly "May I know the reason of this sudden visit? Were you peeping on girls?"

"Well..."

"You were." Hikaru laughed "And you were seen."

"Hey! But putting that aside what is that?" he pointed at Goban and game which was now little massed up "I must have mess it while jumping, I'm sorry"

"No, its nothing." Hikaru sat beside Goban and placed stones in right spots "That is Go board..."

"That much I know" frowned Greg "What is that game which you had to replay right after coming here?"

"Ah, that... my first game." Hikaru looked at it once more, indeed how stupid- he came here to forget and at thje same time first thing he did was replaying that match. "But now it has..." he started to clean the board "It has no worth."

"I see." Greg backed off a little "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."

"What?" Hikaru stood up

"I have to go." other boy acted as if he was in hurry "Lectures will start soon."

"I know." with wondering face Hikaru looked after boy who jumped down. "What was that?"

**Later in the classroom**

Shelly sat on her desk in usual pose everyone looked at her – if someone saw that he would thought that she was a celebrity. Well she was School Council President after all – chosen by all.

"Remember, you are not aloud to as him about the past." she ended "After all we are here 'cos of problems outside."

Boy with long hairs looked down and hit desk with his hand "I'm so stupid." Shell has given him calming look and said simply...

"Things like that are happening, just keep you tongue next time, okay?" order, put calmly and gently, but it was it. Shelly focused her eyes on clouds outside "Each one of us lived trough this, he must too. I just got a feeling he is unable to take any more – he is hurt terribly and drown in his own world." she wanted to tell something more, but she stopped as she heard voiced outside, near to the doors.

"I'm truly grateful, Adam-sensei."

"You maybe when we will truly help you." responded man "Now only thing we did was taking you away, but running isn't an option in your case – in any case."

"I know, pain is still here. For loosing Him... and..."

"Your Sensei wouldn't want you to worry." said Adam "Forget, forget unnecessary thing and focus on your goal." they could hear that boy nodded "That is your classroom."

"Hai!" Hikaru entered along with Adam-sensei. Students stood up and at the same time they all got a feeling, future changed again – for some of them new path have opened.

**In Japan**

Young Pro's gathered in Institute felt that something changed, someone was missing... one that was fresh stupid at times and genius. Why was that? One that was recognized by older Pro's, why would he ... there was no answer to that.

Ochi sat at his place and sighed "Somehow I too feel as if I'm lacking something. No I must think of my match."

Isumi and Waya waited in hall. Waya hand rested on Isumi shoulder to calm him down.

"I'm going to be jealous, Isumi." whispered Waya, but he didn't looked angry "He was our Sun, wasn't he? We circled around him ever since he joined Insei Program." Waya bit his lip "I hate Touya, he pulled Him here – that is true, but now."

"Bear with it, I will too..." whispered Isumi "Are you all right with not knowing?"

"Yeah, if Shindou wished only for you to know. Guess he was right I would blur it out, very soon probably." Waya laughed "Well its no like he is gone for good, ne?"

"I hope so." said Isumi and they entered the room, another matches waited for them.

During that time Akira was a home, with stern face he looked at Goban – that first game with Shindou... he couldn't forget it. Other boy face kept coming back to his mind all those moments with Him... Akira felt empty – his Go froze in that moment.

**Two months later**

Hikaru took his letters, sitting at his favourite spot he opened one from Isumi.

_Hey, Shindou!_

_I have got your letter, what were you thinking? It was all in english... I had to use dictionar to read letter. Don't do this to me ever again. - But putting that asied you are realy good at languages, to got it so fast._

_I just got promoted to 5-dan and Waya is green from pride (as 6-dan), we are missing you here. I would gave everything to return things to how they used to be when we were Insei's._

_Here at Institute your matter is taken very professional, I guess I must tell you after all – If you won't back soon the will... How should I put it – Pro must play or he is not a Pro. Think of it, maybe your school can work something out._

_There is one more matter – Ochi was talking about it lately... that someone should inform you about Touya. Well I don't know if I should speak of it, but he is in loosing streak. Maybe he is missing you..._

"No, no Isumi... what he is missing is his link with Sai. Sooner or later he will get over it"

_Well, I guess its all – after all we contact by mail too, so..._

_Stay well!_

_Isumi:)_

Hikaru lied down on grass, he was calm now... ever since that day few weeks ago. That day he was about to break down. If it wasn't for them (Shelly and the others)... Hikaru didn't want to know what would be.

**Flash back**

It couldn't be helped, feelings piled up to highest extent. Alone in his room replaying game by game... he drowned in unwanted memories. Tear by tear...

"Akira... why did you, I was doing my best to reach sai level – why couldn't you..." Hikaru curled himself

"Finally..." soft voice reached him "You were about to explode." Shelly put her hands on his shoulders "Cry, cry until I won't have any more tears and then start life again." she joined hands on his chest, resting her head on his neck "Get over it and join us, in those last weeks you haven't even try to do so. Let us help you."

"He just used me as a replacement..." whispered Hikaru "I have loved him – there was only him ever since the beginning. My dreams, my world... and even Sai had to serve my purpose of reaching him." he touched the board "Day by day for the sole reason of giving him perfect game, Sai had trained me so we could reach Hand of God"

"Cry it out... everything. Put it on me." said Shelly "And later reach to your dreams."

They stayed like this until he had no more tears, minute by minute he had told her more and more... about Akira and Sai – she didn't asked who was Sai. She had no interest in anyone else that he himself.

After that night he could finally try to live...

**End of the Flashback **

Hikaru put Isumi letter away to read the one from Institute – he already knew what would be inside since Isumi pointed at it. That was a trouble, but he just looked at the sky – they will help him out. Its no good to worry alone – Hikaru realized that already. In this school he was himself and as one person he was important.

Next chapter will tell more of what Hikaru is doing at school. Read to know:)

A/N: Feel free to Review!! ^_^ I always enjoy reading what you think of this. So… REVIEW ONEGAI!!

Also any foreign words will be placed down here for anyone who wishes to see. ^_^


	4. Realizations

**Chapter 4**

**Realization**

Sun embraced St. Peter Academy, now when Hikaru was here for half of a year it was like home – pain run the corners of his heart. Hikaru was 5-dan now, it was hard to get promotion when his matches were cut in half, but still better than nothing. Shelly idea of playing them by Internet was great. That was a way to keep his cover. Russel and David proposed him to change his name, so even if someone looked for him here he wouldn't be found.

There, in school he was Hikaru, but in any case of outside visit he was Akira Sai.

"Don't drown in your own mind" Deryl hit his back and handed him can of cola "What's got into you, bro?"

"It's nothing." Hikaru smiled at his friend. "I wonder what would became of me without you all?" seeing shock on other face he explained "Day by day you stop me from remembering."

"We are happy to do so, for you and for Shelly." one named Deryl smiled softly, his eyes couldn't see nothing accept Hikaru ever since they met.

"I have wondered for so long... who is Shelly to all of you? You would obey her words at the highest extant, why?" Hikaru played with his 'Student Council' emblem "Even now as part of Student Council I wasn't told the reason."

"Well, let's put it that way... you weren't the only one who she helped."

"Huh?" Hikaru looked at his friend.

"Gosh you are slow sometimes." Deryl pocked Hikaru head "You are being here for so long and still... you don't see much accept of Go, do you? Reasons of being here are different for each one of us, as you already know." he looked at Hikaru with a very serious face "I'm son of a gangster." Hikaru nodded calmly on a fact that he already knew "Shelly is too from such family, but what's her biggest trouble lies in different matter. She was born with a great gift."

"Gift?" asked Hikaru

"Yeah, she can read other people emotions very well – rather useful for a gangster, don't you think?" Deryl put his hand on Hikaru's "Same for many of kids here – gifts of wisdom or ability to move thing without touching them, read emotions or body language. Also martial arts masters or special skilled with gun's. On the other hand rich kids who didn't want to obey parents and live unwanted lives or marry people that they never saw."

"That school..." Hikaru "Why?"

"Headmaster was also running from something, but he was stopped... saved by someone." Deryl looked at Hikaru with smile "You... you are not different. You have talent for Go – you were chased 'cos of it, taken away from your world. Above that all person you have chosen, who dragged you into it all..." Hikaru stood up on that, memory of Akira face crossed his mind.

"Stop, I don't want to hear this. There is no importance in it now." but Deryl knew it wasn't true, Hikaru hand was shaking, his eyes flushed in pain – whoever was causing it was...

"You are right, I'm sorry." Deryl stood up

"I will see you at club room" said Hikaru "I will be late."

When other one left Hikaru drowned in his memories of past half of the year, each and every person here lived to the fullest. There were lesson of course, but after they were free to to do anything... many club and activities only waited. It was Special School indeed – but in other way, each talent could grow here.

Hikaru smiled to himself, everyone here had such freedom – they learned how to live despite of who they were before. Here as long as it wasn't bother to the rest you could do anything – what's more not alone.

**Flashback **

He was replaying game in his room when someone entered his room, boy with green orb looked at him with sad eyes

"Why are you avoiding us? Shelly will be worried again." he looked at game "Wouldn't it be more fun to play for real?"

"Probably." answered Shindou "But..."

"Teach me. I will play as long as you teach me." said other boy, his voice recalled treasured memory from Hikaru mind, the day that he himself wanted to play.

"I will." Hikaru looked at boy with fired up eyes

"I'm Deryl" other introduced himself

Not long after that they sat in classroom with many others.

"Gosh Mary, would you hurry... I want to play too!" Johan looked at Hikaru

"That's not good. Don't hurry her like this... Go is a game of honour."

"Smile Hikaru!" Shelly took his photo and run, twins laughed at his expression for weeks

**End of the Flashback **

Hikaru entered the classroom to see everyone observing Shelly and Deryl match, hearing his steps they turned to say hello to him. He was no longer alone...

**In Japan**

Akira sat beside Goban in his father Salon, by last few weeks he finally managed to play good enough to win – but feeling of being incomplete didn't leave him at all. Why was that, he couldn't focus at anything – accept that games with Shindou.

"I'm stupid." he bit his lip "I know I shouldn't have scream at him like that, but..." image of Shindou being there crossed his mind "What would I do I you were here? What would I say?" Akira felt cold tear slipping down from his face "Do you still remember me? Did you found another rival?" sudden pain rushed by his body, Hikaru smiling at someone else by the Go board.

"You really are stupid." Isumi sat on chair in place of Hikaru "I don't know why he stick around you for so long." he cleared the Goban "Let me show you, Hikaru first game after that long departure years ago. Game that you should have played with him."

Akira looked at Isumi "Why are you doing this to me?"

"So you would understand." in Isumi voice was only calmness, there was no anger at all "I want you to realize, it wasn't Hikaru who left you – you have left him long ago." seeing that Akira tried to protest Isumi continued "Where you in his house, in room filled with kifu scent? You were not, since for you it wasn't wasn't important were are you playing. Did you thought at least a bit about Hikaru feelings? No, you did not since his Go was only interesting matter to you... accept of Sai matter of course."

"You... know of Sai?" asked Akira

"You would to if you only let him tell you. I may not know much, but I know that he is dead and..." Isumi placed stone in spot that broke Hikaru spirit back then "It was 'cos of his death that Hikaru run last time."

"Dead." once more word that he throw at Hikaru returned "For so long..."

"Sai is only person that he treasure more that you." said Isumi "I envied you, we all did. Even during Insei days Hikaru could only think of playing you."

Akira looked at game before him, it was clearly game played by Sai, without a doubt...

"Sai."

"No, Shindou." said Isumi "That's the reason he left. You cannot see him behind Sai power. In Go that is fine since for him Sai is best player ever, but..." Isumi focused his eyes on Akira "Hikaru wanted to be you rival, only one in your eyes – since Sai was to far."

"He is only..." started Akira

"Really? I couldn't tell..." Isumi stood up "Whenever he needed advice or help he would come to me or Waya. It was me who was always collecting pieces of him back to normal after your stupid words." Isumi forced to smile "You were his everything, no matter what you did or said. I don't know why, but you were. At least until half year ago."

"Isumi, its enough." This time it was Waya to calm down Isumi, Akira thought it was strange. Maybe it was, strong and calm Isumi and childish Waya...

"How? Why it seams that you know each other better than anyone else? How...?" Akira looked at game, Shindou returned after it, was it 'cos of older friend support.

"He cried during it." said Isumi "That boy who is always happy cried. Sai who was lost..."

"Returned in his game." whispered Akira, his eyes froze – time returned to that day, here in this Salon

**Flashback **

"It was you who said that I'm the game I play. Last time asked you to never return to this. I will tell you at some point, when it won't hurt so much." Hikaru was trembling, now Akira wandered why he didn't see it

"You are not only one who..." he such cold words could be spoken by him

"I'm the only one. Sai had chosen me, me alone! He left me with his will..." Hikaru rushed to doors, I shouldn't have said anything then.

"You? You cannot even play them right, His extraordinary moves are just a fake when you play them. That Sai is probably toying with you."

**End of the Flashback**

"No, I didn't mean that. I was just... just..." Akira covered his face in hands "Return, Kami-sama let me see him at least once, so I could tell him... Kami-sama!"

A/N: another chapter wonderfully helpfully written by Eos-hime!! I would write more but at the moment I am terribly ill with a major sore throat and ear ache. I also don't have heath insurance so I cant go to the doctor to see if its anything worse than a bad cold. Until next time minna!!! Remember to Review and tell me what u think ^_~

Jap terms:

Kami-sama= Higher beings, God(s) depending on which of the Japanese religions your thinking of.

Minna= Everyone


	5. A Thanks and AN

**I know this isn't a chapter but I am letting you all know that this Fic is being rewritten. Thanks to Eos-hime who is now my co-authoress we are working on getting this written and posted for all to see. I will more than likely post the unbetaed versions for you to read until i have time inbetween college and Homelife and the finals coming up to beta it. **

**THanks for your Patience!!**


	6. To Protect Him

**Chapter 5**

**To protect him...**

Shelly looked at Hikaru who peacefully slept, never ended game lied on the Board – so many times she wandered what this game really was... His last game with Sai – that game left an empty hole in his heart, unspoken words that hurt him badly. That much that another blow cut his desire to stay in his own country, with friends and family – she knew that he had many friends... he wasn't alone, but still his heart made place for two persons, only them. One was gone and other...

Shelly bit her lip her worried face catch other one attention. Soon they would end High School, question was what would Hikaru do then. Staying here wasn't a trouble at all since they had Teacher's from University as well.

"Hikaru has no desire to study on University." said Deryl, who sat near to the bed "No need as well. He won't stay without the reason too."

"I know. That's how he is... We must find a job for him here if we want to protect him from now on." Shelly picked few kifu's from the floor "Leaving him alone won't do."

"Father will keep on supporting him from Japan" said Deryl "Institute won't trouble him. But false name in any other place would bring him into troubles."

"That's true. Call representatives... I will wait in the classroom. School will end in two months, so we don't have much time to loose." said Shelly "Inform teachers as well."

"Shelly are you planning on using your title?" asked Deryl "Ever since I know you, you have never did so... Student Council President, you never used anything above that."

"At least it will come handy now." her eye's focused on Hikaru "That boy was hurt terribly, I could tell from that first moment... I also know that he will some day return home, but as long as he himself won't desire it, that will not happen." her hand rested on Hikaru forehead "As long as he wish to be by our side..." she moved away, realizing what she done.

"Yeah, I realize that." Deryl closed the door after them "Neither our Etoile nor do I could fill his heart. That stupid boy who hurt him is lucky, isn't he?" boy looked at Shelly with sad eyes "It must be hard for you as well, he is a first boy which you took into consideration, isn't he?"

"I just wish for his happiness, there is nothing more to it."

"There is nothing above your words Etoile-sama." Light of the Moon embraced her, in that moment she looked like the princess... like star.

_(Etoile, person who is above everyone else – voice of students approved by Headmaster. In this Academy that title was taken very real, even if it wasn't used in everyday live as a name... Her word was an order, her wish was their wish.)_

After some time they all agreed that taking Hikaru as Go Teacher for Middle School would be fine idea. It was normal since that was Japan styled school.

"We should call his friend and have him take care of boards and stones" suggested young boy, he looked little shocked or maybe he was in awe. He was just chosen as class representative and it was his first time to see Etoile from such short distance. Only girls sat around her and she was giving warm aura.

"That's right Damien." said Shelly "Don't be so nervous, I'm just like you are..."

**In Japan**

Isumi stood up and went to mark his win. Waya waited for him already – they were to visit Shindou home to ask about his well being since he haven't contacted them since Golden Week.

"He was really worried back then, wasn't he? And his request was strange... I mean who would go to Shuusaku grave during that period?" Waya took their bag's and handed one to Isumi "Your phone."

"Thanks." Isumi looked at phone and smiled "It's him." in that moment they heard the noise as if someone stopped all of sudden, but Isumi was to happy to think of it.

"Shindou? That's great." Waya moved closer to Isumi so they could both hear

"It's Isumi. I'm glad that you called."

"_I'm not Hikaru._" said calm voice from other side "_I just borrowed his phone._"

"Huh? Why?" Isumi asked "Why would you call to me?"

"_I'm Deryl. I'm calling 'cos I know that you would do anything to help him out."_

"That's indeed true, but did something happened?" Isumi was a little worried, first Hikaru didn't contact him as usual and now someone else had his phone and was calling to his friends. "I must say that it's strange situation."

"_I wanted to ask you for something. No... not me, our Etoile have a wish. We would follow her everywhere... No, that's wrong too_." voice sounded unsure how to put his words "_We, everyone here come to like Shindou, fact that he got Her attention was important here – it made him important to us. Now, he is important for who he is..."_

"It's fine, I get it" said Isumi "Hikaru is being protected by someone important and 'cos of that you all come to know him and liked him too."

"_Something like that_." voice breathed "_Anyway Etoile called us yesterday to think of his future after graduation. We want him to stay with us – we were in need of reason for that."_

"You can go on..." said Isumi already sure that he can trust and help this guy, for Shindou sake.

Akira breathed hard and dropped his bag, so there was someone who knew where Shindou was, someone trusted enough. Akira heart stopped for the moment when he heard this talk. Later it hit him – Isumi knew all along – why and where his Hikaru gone to.

"Isumi knew from the very beginning, Waya as well." Akira words were silent but wound in his heart pained him. "But who called, not Him – who would use his phone?"

"What? This much? Kaya Board's?" Isumi asked shocked "What for?"

"_Let me tell you..." _

Slowly Deryl explained everything to Isumi, leaving him rather shocked...

"Waya..." Isumi looked at his phone which now rested on the desk "I doubt that Shindou will return, they can give him everything... they accept him as he is."

"Kaya Board is a gift for Shindou?" asked Waya

"You don't understand." Isumi pulled Waya out of the room "They want to establish Go-class in their Middle School so he could stay with them despite ending High School – since he wasn't interested in University..." Isumi still pulling Waya along passed by Touya without noticing him "And since they are all rich they wish to play on the best Boards – do you have any idea how much twenty Kaya Boards will cost? With best stets of stones?"

"What?" Waya stopped suddenly "You are kidding!"

"I'm not. They just asked me to order them – they don't know where to buy those with best quality, that's why that Deryl called me." Isumi stood before Institute shop, took deep breath and entered...

* * *

Etoile – (franc.) star, term used in few anime to describe girl of many talents, most important person at school (mediator) or girl specially treated 'cos of her abilities - to show respect.


	7. A Wish God Refused to Listen2

**Hello everyone – in reviews I spotted demand to not give Hikaru a girlfriend, well we don't intend to do so, but... gosh, we cannot tell ;)**

**Anyway enjoy this chapter and review so we could know what you think...**

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**Chapter 6**

**Wish that God refuse to listen.**

Hikaru sat on the hill enjoying warm sun, finals were ended. He was recalling his days here – each one was living in a dream. Someone stood next to him as if he was wandering if he can disturb Hikaru now.

"What is it Deryl?"

"I want to show you something, but before I..." sitting next to Hikaru he continued "I must tell you. I know – I knew from the very beginning. Your heart belong with that other player."

Hikaru sat silently, that was the truth – his heart was crying for Akira even now. For his approval, game and face.

"I know that, but..." Deryl hand covered Hikaru's "I'm right here – by your side, as long as you let me. So if yo could forget" he bit his lip " Let me give you new memories in which you won't suffer. Even if I'm not Akira I will..."

"I'm sorry." Hikaru whispered "I... I will never forget. Never – those memories and what I fell. Akira and Sai were ones who made me who I am."

Cloud covered sun, Deryl grip on other hand hardened which his head kept down – his head rested on Hikaru arm.

"I knew – but even so I couldn't keep this any longer."

"That's the reason I need to leave. It's not just you..." Hikaru lifted his bag

"That's not a thing that should worry you." other boy stopped Hikaru from standing up "We want you to stay, so we could be with you a while longer."

"I will..."

"You will stay here." stated strong demanding voice "You will stay by our side as long as you will be ready to return home."

"Shelly?"

"You will stay here – I have already prepared job for you." her face was calm "As long as I can to stay the way we are... please let us."

Hikaru looked at both of them. "Just who I am? For both of you to say such things, who I am?"

"Stay. I hate to give up." said Deryl "I will try unlimited number of times."

"Thank you."

**In Japan**

Isumi looked at Akira coldly, lately this 'prodigy' stalked him a lot.

"I have nothing to say abut that matter."

"I know that you have a contact with Shindou!" stated Akira "Tell me – where is he?"

"I have nothing to say."

It was like that ever since Akira heard that phone talk, he couldn't stop himself from asking. Not knowing pained Akira and fact that Isumi was trusted enough to know pained even more.

"Why?"

"You – what do you really want?" asked Waya "That is what we must know."

"I want to play..." started Akira

"PLAY!? Play? When will you learn? When you are saying play – about who you think?"

"Who?" asked Akira

"Do you really want him to go back for sole reason of playing with you?" with this question Isumi anger disappeared there was only sadness "Are you that empty?"

"I want him to return – there is nothing else that I want that badly."

"But what if he don't want to go back?" asked Waya "What if he already found a replacement for you?"

Akira froze "If that is the case I want to... I will..."

"Hikaru is happy there." Isumi turned around to walk away " Happy with those who see him important, he is loved more that any other person in this world."

"He don't need you." said Waya

Akira world was shattered into pieces, there was nothing that would help him if that was true.

"Shindou – where are you?"

**Few weeks later in America....**

Hikaru looked around his classroom, it fitted here in this japan styled building. This place was looking just like Insei room back there in Institute – accept from quality of the boards.

"Kaya..." whispered Hikaru "When the shown me I couldn't believe and now I have them all here."

"Are you happy?" asked Deryl "Is there anything more that you may need?"

"No, it's perfect. Thank you."

"Father was happy to fulfil my request." said Deryl "For me that was only phone call – so don't mention it."

"Semester starts in three weeks." voice they heard belonged to Shelly "How about vacation?"

"Sure." Deryl smiled "Our new teacher should rest a bit before work."

"Vacation?"

"Yeah, I have an idea." Shelly pointed at book in her hands "How about we visit Korea? You insisted on learning this language, so why not?"

"Korea?" in Hikaru memories face of young boy was shown and that game after which Yun-sensei recognized him as player. "That may be good idea."

"Hikaru?" asked Deryl "You know someone there – do you?"

"Yeah, we meet many years before." Hikaru bit his lip

"Would you like to play him once more?" Shelly smiled "I'm sure I can do something about it."

"Yeah, I would like to play with him once more." Hikaru looked at his fan "Now when I think about it he may be the one I'm looking for."

"Hikaru?" Deryl looked at him with wonder

"My rival, that boy whom I met in the past – game we played was magnificent – I saw only Akira ashed of me so maybe I missed my chance to get a true rival."

**__________________________________________________________________________________________________**

_Hey everyone!! I wanted to thank you all for reading. Eos-hime and I are sorry for the wait. I do hope you enjoyed this chapter. also just so you know we would never give Hikaru a girlfriend lol. He loves Akira too much. If there are any requats feel free to suggest things although there wont be any promises to use them but we will think about it. _

_Please review.... _

_kagomegirl, and Eos-hime_


	8. It was you who saved my Go

_Sorry about this to anyone who read ch 8 first, but i accidentally put ch8 up before ch 7. there was abad storm the other day and now i have a bad ear ache and a sore throat. Gomen Nasai!!!!!_

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**Chapter 7**

**It was you who saved my Go**

Su-Young walked pass the hall of Korean Institute of Go, he was a bit angry – few day's ago he was informed that he is play for some important guest from America. It was his only free day so he wanted to study kifu alone, but 'cos of some stupid wealthy guest he couldn't.

"I hate them – those who think that we are things to buy." whispered young pro "I hate them." with those words he opened the door to study room, at first he thought that room is empty, but...

"I'm sorry to drag you here like that." girl bowed slightly "But He wanted to see you no matter what– and so couldn't fail in this."

"He?" pro starred at girl "Who is He?" he felt presence right behind him

"I longed to see you Su-Young." that voice was somehow known "You haven't forgotten, have you?"

"Who are you?" Korean boy looked at Hikaru "Did we met before?"

"You promised me... that you would remember my name." said Hikaru silently "On that day when we played – you said that you would remember my name if I win." he continued sadly "I guess the way I look changed to much.

"You are..." boy concentrated " Only person whom I said that – you must be Shindou... but you..."

"I'm glad." Hikaru sat before Goban "You haven't forgotten my name."

"I'm sorry." said younger pro "I should have known from the beginning"

"No, not at all – I'm hiding myself lately." Hikaru grabbed few stones "Nigiri"

"Yeah." his eyes flushed "It's the same like back then."

"It seams so." Hikaru smiled "Our game – I have never forgotten the shape of stones."

"I didn't either." and with that they bowed and started playing.

**Two hours later**

_Pachi!_

_Pachi!_

Shindou smiled, it was long since he had game like that one, full of passion and will to win. "You have gotten better." he praised, deep in his heart he wondered when Akira gave him such passion on the board... Akira face was always a stone – maybe not always, but to often.

"You did too." Korean boy was happy, on this board he was loosing and yet he was happy. "I'm glad that you have come for me." he placed his stone "I also longed to see you again" Shelly knew that boy meant it, this player starved for rival – just like Hikaru did... and above all he could be one for Hikaru, which was impossible for her or Deryl.

"You were not in Hakuto Cup,I was shocked – I was told that..." started Shindou

"I was supposed t be there, but..." Su-Young bit his lip "I couldn't. I'm sorry."

Hikaru placed final stone and picked his fan from the floor.

"I resign. I have nothing." Korean pro admitted

"Thank you for the game." Hikaru bowed to other one

"You have gotten a lot better, and I was wondering all along... where did you learn to speak in Korean?"

"In my new school in America." said Hikaru "I'm still not good, but its batter than nothing."

"Not true, you are rather good – but that would mean that you left Japan." pointed Su-Young "I was sure that you have a good life there. Your rival is there." that last sentence was covered with sadness.

"Well, I did left Japan." Hikaru cleaned his stones "And I have no rival"

"What?"

"I have come here." pointed Hikaru

Su-Young stared at him with flushed face, those words could mean only one thing – Shindou considered him for that position.

"I have never thanked you." Korean boy played with his stone "For that game in Salon. After all I said – I haven't apologize or even thanked."

"For what?"

"It was you who saved my Go." those words ringed in the air. Hikaru stopped it was as if his heart stopped "Your eyes back then, the way you played – your Go picked up mine..."

Time stopped, Hikaru for the first time heard such words – those who he wanted to hear so badly... that he Go was worth of something. How much he wanted to hear them from Akira – praise for his game and hand.

"My Go" he whispered _"Mine, not Sai's"_

"If I haven't met you, I wouldn't be here." Pro bowed "You saved my Go."

Su-Young eyes shown admiration and wish to be stronger, Hikaru's joy.

"I'm glad" said Shelly softly, Deryl who was silent nodded "Crave you path as you desire Hikaru, we will watch and clear it for you – you can just play... your Go."

Su-Young looked at them, those who took Hikaru here – he realized that they were the ones who organized this game. For Hikaru sake – but why was that, why would Pro... one of the best – left Japan.

"What is going on?" he looked at Hikaru and he finally saw his eyes clearly "What are you lacking? Tell me."

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its short i know but, Finals are upon Eos-hime and I'm just about start signing up for school. anyways No worries about Hikaru he is slowly finding ways to heal his broken soul. let us know what you think.


	9. Go – game of heart

**Chapter 8**

**Go – game of heart**

"I will wait" said Su-Young "For the day in which you will forget about him"

Hikaru scrubbed the goban before him "Yeah, but I cannot promise you that."

"No matter what will happen – it was you who saved my Go." boy stood up "Nothing will change it, you are only player in my eyes. Goal that I must reach is your Go which lurked into my mind."

"Thank you." Hikaru smiled

"No, I thank you – for giving me a chance to realize how far behind you I am." he let his go-hand wander by goban "Next time I will be stronger. I won't be inferior to him"

"Neither do I"

Hikaru felt other one passion and admiration, his heart warmed up – someone treasured his Go just like he himself did. Sai would be proud of him. Unwillingly Su-Young grasped the difference he praised Hikaru Go and at the same time it was prising his teacher... Sai Go lives and lurks into people mind – that is Sai. But its Shindou who plays it.

**Few weeks later – new semester**

Hikaru looked at his students, kids that knew of Go or those who entered this classes just 'cos of they were supported by Etoile. Some of them looked bored other impatient...

"Attention class." he finally entered "I wonder if any of you played before... I guess some did." he looked at boy who already started a game "I ensure you that you may resign in any moment." he moved his eyes to bunch of girls who talked abut cloths "Etoile won't know of it."

"Sensei?"

"I know – I ended school here too." Hikaru played with his fan "Not for long, but I had a pleasure to join Etoile class. She is protecting me since then, but it has nothing to do with this classes." he focused eyes on the closes board on which game already started "Go is the game of heart and pride. If you don't act up to this ideals you shouldn't be here."

"Is that true that you lived in Japan, sensei?" asked girl

"Call me Sai-sensei. Yes that's true." said Hikaru

"Everyone." one of boy stood up "Enough."

"You are class 2-A representative, aren't you?" recalled Hikaru

"Yeah, I'm Damien" said the boy "I will be in charge of this class too."

"I was told – about your idea on gathering." praised Hikaru "I'm looking forward to work with you and your class."

"It's the same with me, Sai-sensei." boy smiled "And I apologize for those questions – I will lecture them again later."

Hikaru sat on his chair and recalled what Shelly told him.

_**Flashback**_

"Damien will look after your secret – for them you will be Sai-sensei, non of them will know that you are a Pro. They are still kids – to not fire up their questions we must us this cover."

"Yeah, there are still questions that I don't want to answer."

"Hikaru, was that okay to go back?" asked Shelly "That boy – Su-Young, he actually looks up to you... and he is strong – he would crave path for you in Korea"

"Somehow I fell that must be here. Now I can mail him and play on Net whenever I want to – that's all I need"

"I see." she looked troubled

"Your right, I still cannot step on Su-Young road – not when my mind is taken. If I did that I would be acting like Akira did."

"I see, that's for the better. Count on us – you will teach here as long as you need. No one will bother you."

"Thank you."

_**End of the Flashback**_

"Group has 30 students" informed Damien "Ten of us played Go before."

"I see." Hikaru rubbed his head "Do you have any questions?"

"Yes." girl from third year stood up "I would like to know what is 'Hand of God' – boy's talked about it before."

"Good question." praised Hikaru "That's what we all long to know. I can only tell you what I think it is – would that satisfy you?" girl nodded "Go is a game of heart, to be played with pride by two equal players. When those two meet and play a game with all their minds in it – seeing only each other – their moves will create perfect game. That's 'Hand of God'." Hikaru smiled "That's how my Sensei saw it."

"Game of heart?" questioned one of boy's "Go is game of power."

"That's what you think?" asked Hikaru

"Yes, and I'm not going to listen to such nonsense" said agitated boy

"Ryu!" Damien shouted "I apologize, Sai-sensei." he bowed quickly

"Damien, don't apologize for someone else." said Hikaru "He can think as he see fit." looking at rude boy he said "Before you leave play me."

"For what?" boy asked

"Oh, do you fear of my Go – filled with heart?" Hikaru agitated him more "Do you want a handicap? You can have it."

"No!" boy sat before the board

"Nigiri" Hikaru smiled looking at the boy, he resembled Mitani a lot "I go first. Komi is 5.5"

"Fine"

"Good luck" Hikaru bowed his head, but boy left it without response

'Pachi!'

'Pachi"

Stones slowly filled the board, one by one...

'Pachi!'

'Pachi!'

Ryu looked at the goban with awe – those moves, strong and filled with something known...

"Who are you?" he whispered

"Hmm? Play, you can do better than this." Hikaru bit his lip "Play."

'Pachi!'

'Pachi!'

And finally Hikaru placed final stone sealing boy stones in one corner.

"I have nothing." admitted Ryu

"Thank you for the game." Hikaru pointed at the Go piece in the middle "You shouldn't have play here, but 13-7"

"You are a Pro" Ryu looked at him with wonder "Why are you here?"

"To teach you how to play. - Maybe one of you is my rival."

"That's too much." said Damien and everyone looked at him with shock "You praise us too much."

"No, not at all." Hikaru looked at the goban "This match was rather good – this boy have a potential."

Ryu was shocked – who was this teacher, he didn't seamed to be offended at all and he even praised him. What's more his Go – resembled one from the past... Sai who lurked in Internet.

"Are you Sai?"

"And what do you think? Am I?" asked Hikaru

"I don't know" boy bit his lip "But you resemble him."

"Thank you."

Others were shocked – Sai was for most of them just a name... new Sensei name. Shell who stood right beside the doors smiled.

"Good luck, Hikaru" she walked away "Teach them well."

During that time Headmaster was talking to someone by phone

"Yeah, we will pay."

"..."

"International Team Tournament" director wrote something down "Yeah, That's right."

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_What will happen next? will Hikaru aka Sai find himself a new rival? what about Akira? what will happen to him? Also what is the headmaster planning? Find out soon in the up and coming chapters ^_~_

_Thank you all for Reading please feel free to review and suggest anything you wish to happen next. _


	10. Deal

**Hi! Read, Enjoy, and Comment.**

**Chapter 9**

**Deal**

Ryu sat behind the gym, he felt uneasy ever since his game with Sai-sensei... they all knew that it was a fake name – they were told not to ask about anything. Well, that wasn't uncommon – after all they got the reason to be in this school. Each and everyone of them – even Etoile – was looking for peace and calmness. Even so that teacher wasn't from any of behind scenes families nor from rich one - that was so obvious. Above all he got Her attention and not only that – many of senpai's supported him as well.

"His Go – I had seen it before."

"I thought soo." Said Hikaru who stood right behind him "You are from Japan as well. You know the origin of my game – at least that extent that you can without knowing me and my history."

"Honinbo." mumbled boy "But it's not what I'm talking abut – I played with someone over net – I was a kid back then."

"You still are. " Hikaru smiled at boy angry eyes "So, you played with Sai." seeing boy interest he sat down "Let's make a deal then."

"What kind of a deal?" asked boy "I know that are not Sai – your game just resembles his."

"If you manage to beat me I will tell you origin behind Net-Sai." said Hikaru "For that sake I will train you harder than anyone."

" It would seam that you want me to know." smirked boy "That Sai – was he your teacher?"

"Well, not everyone can tell the difference. AS you said I'm not Sai... despite that fact in Japan there was a person who desired only him and kept me close 'cos of my link to Sai Go." said Hikaru more to himself that Ryu "Sai was the one who had shown me Go – if it wasn't for him I would never started..."

"I guess I can drop by your class every now and then." said Ryu "But still I have a question." seeing his teacher to nod his head boy continued "Why Etoile-sama treasure you so much?"

"Good question."

"It's about your past – I know it is... you seam to carry a heavy burden on you." boy lowered his head "My behaviour on last classes was stupid and not mature at all. I hate loosing and I knew that you are stronger."

"It's fine – to tell you the truth you resemble one of my friends. Mitani was a pain at the begging too." Hikaru opened his fan and looked at the boy "If you are as strong willed as he is you may have a chance of betting me some day."

"Huh, I will - just you wait." boy went off with angry face, but in fact he was happy that Sai-sensei looked for him and proposed the deal to save his honour, which would be hurt if he returned on his own.

Hikaru looked after him "I wonder – who you resemble more me or Mitani... or maybe Waya?"

**Few weeks later**

Go class was training after hours – it turned out that most of them had at least heart for the game. Sound of played pieces was so calming. Hikaru smiled at boy's who tried to learn aouter more about Pro World.

"I'm telling you... Isumi-pro is best of all."

"No, Touya-pro!"

"I prefer Ochi-pro style." Hikaru chuckled at this recalling nerd Ochi

"I think Shindou-pro was better." said Anne "I heard that he disappeared a while ago."

"I heard that too. He plays his game's by Net-Go"

Hikaru frowned felling Ryu eyes on himself, that kid was to wise for his own good.

"Sensei! What do you think?" asked Anne "Who is the best?"

"Best? Hard question." He bit his lip "Isumi-san is strong, he was even as an Insei." everyone looked at him carefully realizing that he was recalling his own memories "Ochi... Ochi will never change – it was hard on him, when others failed to notice him. Despite of that he loves the game." unknowingly Hikaru let his hand slid by goban "He – Touya Akira has a goal higher then them, he is stronger too, but he cannot communicate well... His life is Go itself. I guess I cannot answer." he stood up and said "You are free for now." and went off.

"Sensei." whined Anne "What about Shindou-pro?"

"Stupid Anne." said Ryu "You upset him and I couldn't practice enough." his eyes went to the doors Shindou-pro? In his mind answer was formed already.

"I'm not stupid!"

"Yes, you are." assured Ryu and picked his bag "Don't talk about it any more." he send a glare to Damien "Talk to them and explain."

**In Japan**

Isumi looked at older man with interest, that was good idea – catching attention and all...

"But it would cost a lot – can we afford this?" asked Isumi

"And here is best news of all – we don't have to worry." exclaimed man

"What? Amano-san, what are you saying?" Isumi was shocked "Are you felling well?"

"Isumi-sensei, there is a reason that I'm talking with you, not with elders. We had a request, so that you would be in charge. That was only demand of that person." Isumi blinked

"Hmm, now that said that." he joined few fact together and realized true reason "I think I understand now. We have a sponsor from America, isn't that right Amano-san?"

"Oro... You seam to know something." said Amano "Interesting."

"Let's say, that I heard about a certain school." Isumi stood up "I will be glad to help in that idea. One more thing Amano-san." he stopped at the door "Don't tell or write anything about that school, it may cost us more than just loosing a sponsor."

"Isumi-sensei?"

"I assure you – I'm telling the truth. They would do anything to protect their secret. I will contact them on my own behalf." Isumi felt that his cellphone moved in pocked and smiled "Or rather they will..."

Amano stayed in the room with shock written all over his face, first that school and now Isumi strange behaviour

"I guess I will have to wait to know more." Amano played with his pen "I have a felling that it will be interesting again... that boy I wonder if he have something to do with it."

"I'm tired of waiting too." said old man who just entered "How long I will have to wait for his return? I'm not going to live forever."

"Kuwabara-sensei?" Amano looked at old pro with wonder on face

"That kid – I will not hand over my title to any other challenger than Him." announced old player "It was decided on that day."

Akira was passing by and stopped as he heard Kuwabara words

"That kid – Shindou Hikaru I haven't played him yet... I will not loose until he goes back. He is the one I was waiting for." old man breathed hard "He is Honinbo."

Akira frozen, until that moment he only thought of his own desire to play with Shindou, his won desire to see other burning eyes, but...

"Even Kuwabara-sensei is waiting for him... and it's all my fault. Who I was to question his Go that is praised by Honinbo title holder? I'm stupid!" He started to run, far away "No, it's not what I want to say... Go – the game has no importance now. I want to see him – his burning eyes and smile that he carried everyday." tears started to slipping from his eyes "I want to respond properly to his smile, I need to say that I'm sorry."

Isumi watched this scene still hold his cellphone

"Yes, leave it to me." he assured "We will start preliminaries in 9 months." he nodded "I see, it fine... I informed Amano-san of that." he watched as Akira disappeared from his eyes "I think that Touya realized his feelings already." he nodded "We are grateful for what you are doing for Hikaru sake."

On the other side of the line Etoile was smiling by tears

"He is one of us. It's our duty to make him happy." she watched as Ryu played with Hikaru "He still don't know – so don't write of that to him."

As she ended Deryl stood by her side "Are you sure? He may not return."

"Are you not sure?" she asked "You as well as I know this one thing – His heart is not here, nothing will change that."

"I know."

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_**Disclaimer time!!!! **__I dont Own Hikaru No GO sadly if i did Hikaru and akira would always be together ^_~_


	11. Your path

**Chapter 10**

**Your path**

Hikaru starred at beautiful night sky above Academy, this place was so calm and full of perfection, almost unreal. Despite of small fights everyone lived in peace, those who couldn't find it outside.

"Did something happened?" asked Shelly

"No, it's just – did you ever wandered why you are here?" asked Hikaru "I guess you didn't – you are essence of this place – but me from the other side..."

"I did too." she stopped him "What makes me so special to be here? - I asked myself many times." she smiled "What have I done to earn such right?" Shelly looked into his eyes "But those questions are pointless, we are here – that's all what matters. It's not like others couldn't form such society outside."

"People here have a will to do so."

"That's right Hikaru. By our own will, by our own hands – it's not like we just take – we are creating this peace by our actions." Shelly lied down on the grass "I will watch over this place... forever and ever. So whenever any of students wants to return here, he would return to the same place he left."

"Shelly?" asked Hikaru "Did something happened?"

"No, but I have an information for you. But before I do – how is your class? Are they of any good?"

"They are good. Or rather they will be." assured Hikaru "In some time – few of them may reach to pro level, why?"

"I see. How about 9 months?" asked Shelly "Would you manage to show them all your skill in 9 months – so they could learn some your style... so they would be recognizable as your students?"

Hikaru bit his lip "That would be hard, but at least Ryu may be able to reach that much. Why did you ask?"

"There is a Tournament in Japan – or rather will be in 9 months. They require team of 3 people that aren't Pro and are under 18." said Shelly "I think that you might be interested."

"Shelly?" Hikaru frowned "Did you happen to set up this Event yourself?"

"You are shaper than before." replied Shelly "I did." looking at Hikaru puzzled face she added " I don't want to – I don't want to see your hurt face. You should see him once more. If you do I'm sure..."

"Just for that?" asked Hikaru

"Would you go in other case?" Shelly pocked his head "You are proud Hikaru – to return just like that you are too proud man."

"You prepared stage than? Hikaru fixed his hairs "I see... if so I won't hesitate and will use this situation to check on everyone."

"You still miss him." said girl "You heart is closed 'cos of pain."

"I..." Hikaru stopped for moment "I will forget – I will play him and crush him like Sai did and then I will... I will surly forget." his face flushed "Su-Young met me just two times and both of them helped me – he sees my Go as more than a Sai shadow." tear slipped from Hikaru eye "That is why I will..."

"Hikaru..." Shelly embraced him from behind, resting her forehead on his back "That's fpr you to decide but don't hurt yourself in process. You heart is abut to break." her hands rested oin his chest "I cannot see future, but You should try once more. Tell him... tell that stupid boy what are you feeling."

"I..." he didn't know what to say "I don't..."

"You know answer yourself. You love him – that rival who was able to lead you to Pro World. You love him that's why it hurt you so much when she shown no respect for your bond with your teacher, Sai." Shelly let him go and now faced him eye to eye "You love him, so you don't want him to mix Sai and you..."

Stars shied upon them one last time and dawn came.

"I want you to be happy. We all want this." Shelly took his hand "If you refuse I won't push. You don't need to go or play him at all. - I told you many times – all you need to do is choose the path you like so we could prepare it for you."

"Path I want to take?" Hikaru asked with bit trembling voice

"Yeah, you may stay here and live as you are and you may return to Japan... or even to Korea if you would like – you are free."

"I'm afraid." said Hikaru "That he won't... that he didn't miss me at all. I'm scared that he will laugh at me if I tell him."

"If that would be the case just return here – no matter what happens and when – you are one of us. You can return any time... I just told you I will remain here, so you could return." Shelly let go of his hand "That's why you should try."

Some time later she watched as he was returning to him room, she could let go of her emotions – tears that she was stopping could run down from her eyes.

"No matter what happens – forever."

"Don't cry." said Deryl who observed the scene "You said it yourself – all we need is to see him happy." Etoile frowned at him and turned her back at him "It's not like I don't want to cry."

"We will both wait – for his return."

"He won't return."

"I know." said Shelly "But..."

"Just in case." ended Deryl, sun embraced them in it's glorious light – their path was connected... and one day maybe they will...

**In Japan – Akira dream**

Go Salon looked as always, respectful elders played in silence... emptiness and loneliness – in this place where no one could rival him or speak face to face.

"My world – was it like that?"

"Yeah, until we met" voice of person that he couldn't see reached him, very gently voice of person who lived for long. "That changed more than your life – his too. Maybe even more than meeting me"

"Who are you?" there was no response, but doors opened and young boy in which Akira recognized Hikaru entered "The day I met him. When we played our first match."

"I still remember." voice softened even more "It was first time... in this match Hikaru for the first time had stone in hand. How nostalgic."

"Who are you?" asked Akira once more "Were you there?"

"Sure, look I was there all along – right behind Hikaru's back" voice seamed sad "But if I knew what will be of it – I would never lead him to Go. This child who could see my tears... my student"

Akira focused his eyes on Hikaru and then he was able to see, Hikaru aura contained another presence

"What are you?"

"How rude, I'm a person." from Hikaru shadow figure was formed, it looked like taken from old painting "Fact that you couldn't see me doesn't change that."

Game ended and time stopped, Akira faced other one "Are you... It's stupid, but are you other Shindou?"

"Is it how you called me?" scene changed, now they were at School Tournament "Do you remember? That was your first match with Hikaru – but you failed to see his determination and skill. He was just a starting, but you..." Akira noticed that aura grew even more around Hikaru, was supporting him "Was I the only one who noticed?"

"I don't understand."

"Yes, you don't – that's why he is suffering. If I knew – I would prefer not to come to his mind." vision melted away "I would prefer to stay in my Goban, because now Hikaru too will live without reaching his goal."

**End of a dream**

Akira awoke out of sudden, feeling more empty than befre

"Why is that? Why that being words hurt me... he said that would prefer to stay in Goban than lead Shindou to me, why?"

Boy looked into night as if he was looking for an answer "I must see him... I won't hold much longer – I wish so I could travel back in time. Once more play that game on Tournament, was he really playing with his whole mind and heart? If so I hurt him back then too. In that case when I didn't hurt him? Does he have any reason to go back?" Tear marked boy face "Even if – at least I must see him... just once more, please."

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I must thank eos-hime for helping me bring sai into the picture. I love Sai and was saddened that he left i had him brought back even if only for a moment. _

_anyways remember to review and comment ^_^_


	12. Reason

**Chapter 11**

**Reason**

Go class trained in silence, but they felt odd – Sai-sensei was late...

"I wonder what happened" said Ryu "Do you know something Damien?"

"Me? Aren't you Sensei favourite?" Damien asked "I'm representative only 'cos of paper job, you are best player."

"That is indeed true" said Anne "But still doesn't solve our could Sensei go?"

"Quiet." whispered girl with bold hairs

"What is it, Patty?"

"They are at doors, if you keep quiet we may hear something" informed girl

And so they listened...

"If that's what you want."

"I'm still unsure, but what you said to last night made me think of it." Sensei voice was a bit shaking "I must see him and talk, otherwise I will not move on. Nowhere, including here."

"Then shall I..."

"No, not yet – they still don't know. I cannot sign up for Tournament if my students don't accept it." Hikaru smiled "I hope they will like idea – since I don't want to be alone in there."

"If that would be the case I would go and Deryl too."

"Thank you. Today my students will decide on that." Hikaru seamed a bit off "If they do agree I will reveal my true name – not knowing it may affect them badly in Japan, my style of play is known to well..."

"That's right, especially that you took your Teacher name before them – Sai name may give them trouble in Japan."

"Certainly, but it may serve my purpose in few ways... used properly." implied Hikaru "Don't worry over that Shelly, I will do what I must."

"No, You will do what you want – it's a promise... What ever you want."

"Yeah, thanks to you." and with that words he entered his classroom

"You can start with formal duties." he said while looking at Damien

"Stand! Bow!" after greeting he started report "Everyone present, first session already started – clocks put at 2 hours each, no komi."

"Good job." praised Hikaru "But I must ask you to stop your games for now."

"Sai-sensei." Damien reminded standing "We heard some of your talk with Etoile-sama, there is no need to ask us about such things. Question is if we can keep up to your expectations."

"That's true." aided him Anne "We would be honoured to represent you at Tournament. Your ability is superior so being called your students would be an honour."

"I see... but you may change your mind if you hear what I have to say." Hikaru opened the window and sat near to it "But even so I must tell you – the reason and my name."

"Shindou Hikaru... no, it should be Shindou-sensei" Ryu stood up and faced shocked Hikaru "What I don't know is why did you – promising Pro who was aided by elders such as Touya Koyo-sensei and Ogata-sensei, Kuwabara-sensei, Kurata-sensei and many others – you Touya Akira rival, why would You leave Japan." Ryu bit his lip "And off all places you came here – place so hidden that for most you cannot do your job."

"Shindou-pro" whispered Anne "For real?" everyone faces were shocked

"Your are sharp Ryu." said Hikaru "For real, Anne." he looked at Ryu with wonder "When? You connected me with Sai or perhaps it was when Anne asked my about myself?"

"Both, but your reaction to your and young Touya name was a in lead." boy smiled proudly "Will you tell us? Why did you came"

"My story starts long ago, I was twelve back then – that day I met Sai. He was my teacher and friend, my Go was given to me by Him. I would probably stayed the way I was – play for him, his Go... but I met Touya Akira and he was the person whom I wanted for myself. That is why I started to play by myself. I played Akira not long after that – my lack of skill while comparing me to Sai made him unaware of my desire to play."

Wind rushed by classroom and Hikaru long hairs danced with it, he smiled sadly as he continued "It took me some time, but with Sai as teacher I could join Insei Program and Pro World. I struggled to get his attention. But there was always Sai – Touya mind was taken by desire to play him and I was a tool for that." Hikaru hands went by Goban "No matter what I did, how strong I became he could only see Sai moves in my Go. He only person I wanted for myself." they listened to his confession, looking careful at his stance that became more shaking than usual strong Sensei."He was only link to Go World after Sai left me and even so even after Sai disappeared and did show on Net any more, he still looked for him in my Go."

"Stop." said Anne "Stop, you are shaking Sensei. Don't speak more. We will do as you say, so..."

"That's right" Ryu aided Anne

"No, you must understand. I wanted to reach the Hand of God with Touya, but to do I would have to be his equal. Some time ago it became visible to me that he didn't see my as equal at all. He laughed at my bond with Sai... I mentally snapped that day." Hikaru took off his fan and looked at it "I realized that I won't be able to reach It – That was originally Sai wish, to reach Hand of God." he closed his eyes "But that wasn't a reason. I wanted Touya to look at me, when I realized that he doesn't see me at all... I couldn't stay there."

"Confused and lonely Hikaru came here." those words were said by Shelly who just entered "Still child who was bind by rules of Go World, child that out of sudden became grown up. Lonely 'cos only one person who would be able to lead him once Sai died couldn't see him at all. That was the reason. I believe that it was due to Touya coldness and that he realized by now – that Hikaru is his only equal and must be more treasured. If no, nothing will change, everything will stay as it is now."

"But, I may need to meet him to move on." said Hikaru "I also don't want to return on my own, just like that. To return as teacher with his students... I wish I could return like that."

Student's nodded – their teacher deserved respect and love, he needed to move on. It was when they decided that they will win, to give him remarkable return – no matter what will be later. They hated it – to be consumed by world around you and being alone. They all had such paths of loneliness before. Coldness in that huge world – they hated it.

"Sensei." Anne put her hand on her chest "I think that the rest will agree with me." she looked at them and saw their approval "We will win. We will do as you say to set up perfect situation for your sake and then take you back home. Here."

"Thank you." Hikaru whispered

"That's right." Shelly sat across of Hikaru "No need to worry, your home is here... always. And now, play me."

"Yeah, class return to duties." ordered Hikaru "Tomorrow we will start recreate Sai and my kifu's, later Touya and other Pro's."

_And so... it has started.... the path to healing and learning...... What will become of it?_


	13. The one I hate the most

**Chapter 12**

**The one I hate the most**

With passing time Hikaru and his students trained hard, they wished to make him proud and he – Hikaru wished to play a game with Akira, for that sake he intended to overcame any weakness of his Go.

"That move here." pointed Ryu "That one is of Sai, isn't it?"

"Yeah, but I cannot take it for such benefit as He would do." Hikaru bit his lip "Did you checked on everyone, how is training of kosumi goes. I don't know why you insist on using this move. I use it, but it's sure off date now"

"That's why..." said Anne "You are using it, most of Pro's will recall it, we are proud of our Sensei skill – I by game I play want to be seen as one of your's. There is nothing more."

"That's for all of us." Ryu aided Anne "We are from many countries, but despite of that we want to be seen as one outside, that is our power... thing that we want to gain here, to be able to live outside."

"That's flattering me." Hikaru looked at them "And I'm happy, what Sai told me, what I learned from him... it won't die with me someday."

"Yo!" someone called out and in second Deryl jumped in by a window "How are you doing?"

"You will never learn." laughed Hikaru "But it's kind of nostalgic every time you jump in. That's how I came to met you."

"It was long ago... that morning" Deryl blushed slightly as he recall that it was also first time that he spoke to Hikaru "But for me its like today."

"I know. I also remember every word." he looked at his friend "So, what's bringing you here? We were to meet up later at the diner with Shelly, weren't we?"

"True, it's still on, but she send me to ask you of something." he stated seriously "We must send someone to Japan – it's time to register your team. But we don't know who should go, would you like to?"

"No, its not time yet. Say..." Hikaru put his hand on Deryl arm "I'm not ready yet, would you go in my place?"

"Sure." Deryl smiled "I will inform father that I'm going he will pay the fee."

"Sorry, I know that you hate to ask him of anything." Hikaru grip on other arm grow stronger "I'm a coward."

"No, that's what I wanted to do in the first place." Said Deryl "See your world, so I knew how to protect you during Tournament." slight blush crossed his face "I promised, so nothing else matters."

Students looked at them, long time ago they realized that both Etoile and her First Hand cared for Hikaru in special way – now they realized something more, in Japan something was to happen.

"I know, but don't go too hard on him." said Hikaru "I would rather to take care of it myself, I let it to this extent... Touya didn't even realized his mistakes. It's my fault "

"It's not." Deryl looked in Hikaru eyes "But if you wish... do as you please."

**Few days later, Japan**

Deryl looked at huge building before him, that aura reminded him of Hikaru – that was the place that have given birth to his sadness. Go Institute or so ever... He wandered if Hikaru wanted to go back here to live with those who have chosen the same path in life.

"If so then we will use this chance to give him what he want." Deryl stepped inside "I'm sorry, can you help me?" he asked in English, boy stopped and responded

"Sure, what can I do?" with slight bow he introduced himself "My name is Fuku, I'm shodan"

"Congratulations" smiled Deryl "Can you take me to where schools can register themselves for the Grand Tournament."

"Are you a Go-teacher?" smiled Fuku "How about Fast-Go?"

"Calm down, boy... sorry Fuku-sensei. I just recalled what I heard about you." Deryl closed his eyes "He was recalling matches with you as well."

"He?" asked Fuku "Wait, from where did you came? Are you from USA?" insisted Fuku "Are you from school that He went to?"

"Calm down." whispered Deryl "It's a secret after all. Listen I need you to keep it for yourself, but I in deed met Hikaru – 'cos person you talked about is Hikaru, right?" Fuku nodded "Hikaru ended our school and now he is a Teacher."

"Does he intend to come for Tournament?" asked Fuku "That would be great, I would like to play him, our planned match is probably far away, you know that of Ooteai."

"I will set up a game by Net Go if you wish." said Deryl "You will give me your number and I will contact you when it will be possible." He smiled at Fuku beaming face "But now could you take me to where I should register His team."

"Yes, right away." boy was happy "I wanted to play him, it's so long since last time."

Deryl looked at the boy, so young and working already "Pro's are different than other people" he mumbled "I wonder if Hikaru was this happy once he got pass exam?"

"He was, he was very happy – finally he was able to chase Touya Akira." said Fuku "Hikaru is very talented, for more than me – at his first try he got to INSEI and as well at his first try he passed Pro Examination. There are gossips that he was Touya rival even before."

"I heard of it" said Deryl "They meet even before Hikaru knew who is an Insei"

"We were some what envy of Hikaru." Fuku focused his eyes before him trying not to look at Deryl "He got Touya eyes on him and many higher dan's circled around him. I was wondering if he came to hate us this much so he had to leave." Deryl could see that boy was in pain, it pained him – the reason of Hikaru running away

"No, Hikaru didn't run 'cos of such trivial thing." said Deryl in this moment doors on their left opened and Deryl eyes met with empty ones

"Touya-sensei" said Fuku with respect "I'm sure that You just won again."

"Touya Akira?" asked Deryl looking at Fuku "Truly, am I that lucky?"

"Who are you?" asked Akira shocked by other glare full of something that would be called envy and anger "Do I know you?"

"No, you just happen to know our Sensei, that's all." said Deryl minding his promise to Hikaru "Fuku-san would you lead ?"

Akira looked after them, he felt strange, why did that man looked at him like that – they met for the first time and he already hated him.

"Deryl-san, why did you reacted in such way to Touya?"

"You are observant one, well I hate those who bring misery to Him. Our friend – our Hikaru suffered. It was that man – I hate the most." Deryl was about to say something more but his phone rang "Speaking of Him..." he picked it "Hey, I'm at Institute right now." he listened for a while "It's fine I got Fuku to help me, don't worry and train them well, bye"

Few minutes later they stood before registration room, Deryl smiled at Fuku "I'm sure that Isumi-san will take care of my matters now, I will remember to talk with Hikaru about your match." said Deryl, but he didn't look at Fuku, his eyes crossed with Akira's who just joined them "I forgot to ask how are you feeling, Touya-sensei."

"Do you know where Shindou is? Tell me!" demanded Akira "Speak."

"I'm not one of your junior's." said Deryl "I'm rather opposite, since I'm friend of His. All you did made him suffer – I have done everything in my power to protect and help him forget. And not only me, if you dare to hurt him even once more... I might not be able to hold on myself. None of us, right now and forever he is one of us – those who hidden regret and struggled for life until we met each other. He forbid me to insult you, so if you let me... " with those words Deryl pushed the doors and entered the room "We finally meet in person Isumi-san."

Akira was left alone with Fuku, who was shocked "I don't understand."

"He is right." Akira didn't even looked at Fuku "It was me who pushed him away from all of you. I too wish to see him once more – if not for a match, let it be just to talk." Fuku looked at Akira "I need to tell him. I must tell him no matter what..."


	14. Until the day you die

**Chapter 13**

**Until the day you die..**

Hikaru observed his class – kids that entrusted themselves under his lead. Out of this thirty he will have to choose six. Two teams with three people each – that was this Tournament regulation.

_**Flashback**_

Ryu stood calmly as he was speaking

"That will be your choice, there is no need for matches among us – we will be content when you name your representatives." others nodded "You know the best, which can attain your goal there. We do realize that Tournament is side thing there."

"But it would be kind of..." he started

"No, forget about Pro-world rules for a bit. We are your students and friends, none of us will feel bitter – and even if we do, that would be toward our own lack of talent and skill." Ryu smiled "No matter what will happen – isn't that our motto – No matter what will happen we are bind together."

_**End of the Flashback**_

They played knowing that He is looking at them trying to make a choice – Pride filled them 'cos of that fact... Six of them would be named his representatives.

"_Who should I pick?"_ mumbled Hikaru to himself _"Ryu is only one that I'm sure off in it..." _but as he whispered this he reflected on his words _"That's not true – they all have some kind of gift that may come of use, also each one of them tries so hard to get my approval."_

With this he focused on them even more, looking for fitting ones.

Ryu was obvious choice, the strongest among them and passionate like Hikaru himself. Clever and bright boy who would lead others. His face that reflected tension of the game and desire to be the best would make him perfect Pro if he could aim for such place. But then again, its not like he cannot...it was just his a bit dark personality that separated him from rest of the world. Such thing was only understood here.

Damien who was club and class representative and incredible martial arts fighter – that calm boy came from brutal mafia family – his go was a bit too considerate toward opponents, but with time it could be changed. Why this child played Go? Hikaru didn't knew that, but it didn't mattered at all, what mattered was his Go that had great chance to grow in such Tournament.

Across of him sat Anne, girl who seamed to be a frantic fan of celebrities – but it wasn't true, her game carried feelings. She was in pain and wanted to win, even if only on the board. Given photographic memory she was dragged from one crime scene to another – tested and used... that was until she got into this school as ten years old girl. She saw blood and cruelty unknown to Hikaru, but she still had a will to go on, even of only in this one game.

Angela almost never spoke, as far as he knew she was gifted singer, but he never heard her full voice. She was kind of cutting herself from others, but still played well.

Robin was always with her – as if they knew each other for long time. Hikaru had a feeling that if someone tried to attack her he would stand right in front of the girl. His game was a bit mess, but for someone who played for such short time he was incredible, his intuition was very good.

_Those five was strongest in his class_, Hikaru smiled at this realization and looked at boy with blond hairs and sad eyes..._ Ciel. Japanesse boy with sad past of jakuza son, he was Deryl half-brother._

"This move is good Ciel – can you keep it up?" asked Hikaru putting his hand on boy shoulder

"Yes, Sai-sensei." boy bowed his head "I will"

"Train hard. I need you to win for me." Ciel froze on those words

"Sensei?"

Class stopped games and looked at him knowing that he already made his choices

"First team, line up." Hikaru spoke "Ryu, Anne, Ciel." Three stood up and lined in front of him "Second team – Damien, Angela, Robin."

**Later in Headmaster Room**

"So, you decided on representatives." man looked at Hikaru "I guess you know what you are doing... elimination round will start in three months."

"I know. They will be ready." stated Hikaru "I hope that such activity won't put this school in danger."

"That's true that we dislike be in the center of attention, but no one can find this Academy, unless we want to. I assure you Hikaru-sensei." old man looked at school grounds "That's with benefit for them, to take part in something this big and social – Angel can break her boundary if we prepare it carefully and wise... its the same with Ciel. Above that its to help you – and you are one of my precious children as well."

"Thank you, I wonder what would I did if I hadn't meet Adam-sensei that day – if you hadn't accepted me."

"This way or another you would reach your goal, but I'm happy to be a part of it and so is Etoile." Headmaster smiled "I hope that some of them realize their strong points and take the chance of living normal life."

"Shelly is a strong person who can lead people, why is she still here?" Hikaru asked "She don't want to tell me."

"She is strong, but afraid of outside world – here where she is putting the rules her life is easy... outside as you know you can be controlled and never notice that." old man face was stern and sad "For someone with her gift it a poisonous thing, always wondering if she isn't controlled – used for others crimes sake."

"She is ready to fight with that life and win, probably even more than I am." Hikaru frowned "You all insist on my matters."

"They love you you." said simply old man "Despite of the past and of what will happen in the future this one thing will stay the same. You can return here as if this never happened – you may stay in Tokyo... or just return later. From the day you entered my school until you die you are one of us."

Setting sun embraced room in golden light, Hikaru bowed to headmaster with respect and left.

"_Sai.."_ he whispered _"I wonder if I should even go – sometimes I think that I should never leave this place. What would you think of it, I don't know..."_

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I do apologize to those who are having trouble following the story due to some grammar problems but do give me time to fix them. Eos-hime is not a native english speaker and I sadly haven't had the time to correct the mistakes. once i have a good job i will have more time to fix them. thanks to those who stick around.

~~Kagomegirl


	15. Whatever you wish for

_Hey everyone, I was in mess lately... but I going to go back to my stories. Thank you for having patience with me. ~Eos-hime_

_As for me, kagomegirl, i just started a new job and it is so BORING and HARD. i have to do 1000+ phone calls trying to sell Mortgage insurance. blegh! ~kagomegirl_

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Chapter 14**

**Whatever you wish for**

Time passed by very quickly, Hikaru was happy to teach them – so passionate even after being left out from Tournament. Teaching them was so much fun, for the first time he realized how it is for Insei teachers. He also begin to to wonder if those who teached him felt abandoned when he left.

"But then again, I was unable to hold on in Japan any more – I wonder if they will forgive me. All those who were left alone. I never think of what should I tell to them, I probably never intended to return" Hikaru whispered "I wonder how are they doing."

"You will see soon, Sensei." said Ciel "Elimination Round is starting next week."

"I'm not going." Hikaru placed his stone "Not yet, I will show myself on Tournament, but not now. It's not right time."

"You want to return as a winner." Ciel attacked lower corner "You want to return like you came into that world, which must mean a perfect position. I hope we can give you that."

"Ciel, if you couldn't I would not chose you. In my eyes your gifts were best for this task." Hikaru placed another stone "I can tell, each one of you can win. And don't worry yourself over winning, if you do it will be harder. Also don't bother if anything would slip out of control – I will be proud of you no matter what."

"Hmm, you are getting better as a teacher." Shelly said loudly "I'm sorry to intrude but you are called by headmaster."

"Now?" asked Hikaru

"Yes, in instant – that's what he said to me anyway." Shelly bit her lip "I think is about your name and title once you go there. It important 'cos we must inform Isumi-san how he should name you in documents."

"I see, I going now." Hikaru stood up "I'm sorry Ciel, we will play later."

"Sure thing, Sensei." boy laughed and cleaded stones "I was loosing again anyway. I will replay this game and talk with you later, is that all right Sensei?"

**Later, Hikaru room**

Deryl put his stone unsure what to say "Sure, if you want me to." he said slowly "But I guessed that you would like to see him soon." his voice was trembling

"Deryl, I don't do this to see him. I want to end this pointless situation – I must speak with him properly that's all. Akira had never see me as I saw him, nor as rival nor as beloved" Hikaru stopped for a second "I love him – you knew I do. That's why I cannot just go... He made fun of me, he joked about Sai – I will see him for high position like he did before. Until he realize that I have became Sai." Hikaru stood up and looked away "That's why I need someone I trust to watch over them this time. Ryu and Anne will help you take care of everything. Isumi will aid you in any matter – as long as you want to help me in this."

"I? I will do anything." Deryl was speaking with trembling voice "I will do anything for you."

"How selfish of me." Hikaru turned back to look at his friend "I'm telling you to go and..."

"No, not at all. You are never selfish – you simply still cannot face him. I have seen you in him." Deryl stood close to Hikaru looking into his eyes "While looking at him I could see you – the same light in eyes and the same devotion. I will never rival you like he does – I cannot take his place. That's why I came to hate him in the first place, such person who have all you focus and yet... and yet not notice that."

"There is none other than him that could drove me into match so deep and it was him that made me who I am today – having him by my side or not is what craved my being." Hikaru looked to goban "He was first person that we played. Only one who could see Sai in my game..."

Later there was only silence, they both realized that this topic wouldn't get them anywhere – for both it was painful and hard to speak of.

**Week later, Japan**

Deryl looked at kids that were chosen by Hikaru. "Ciel, are both teams ready?"

"Yes, we can go in right now Deryl-sempai." boy responded with polite manners "We all know what do do and what we can tell – also we will call Sensei by his other name."

"That is most important. He will return here as famous player of NetGo – in reality Sai was his teacher, but..." Deryl smiled softly "He is our Sai."

"That is indeed true." Ryu nodded "I want to see the other one – the one that Sensei had chosen and got rejected. He must be good despite of being stupid enough to let such a chance to pass."

"He is – his aura resemble Hikaru a lot – his eyes shine in the same manner as if they were to burn everything. That man – Touya Akira is only one who could rival Hikaru."

"You are forgetting yourself Senpai" Anne frowned "You should say 'Sai'"

With this the all laughed, Ciel looked at Deryl sadly – he knew how much his brother loved Sensei, he also knew that Sensei heart was occupied by that other man. Outcome of this Tournament might be harsh for his brother, but he couldn't say what would be better...

"In any case someone will be suffering – I just hope that we can manage to find resolution that will not brake anyone." he whispered

**The same day, Hotel**

Deryl looked at night sky from window, his senses calmed down, he was ready to face anything for Hikaru sake and so he was given the chance to support him in most important moment of his life. Whether it was to lead Hikaru to him or that other – it held no meaning now – it was all for Hikaru sake, ever since that day he entered their Academy it was all about him.

"Everyone here will dance as you play. Whatever you wish for, will be given to you."

And it wasn't promise that would not be held, they actually could make that happen – they could buy anything, maybe accept of love...

"Whatever you wish for, we can give you that – so stay with us... We love you, so..." Deryl smiled at shooting star "Be happy."

**_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

_**I hope Everyone has had a Happy EASTER ^_^!!**_


	16. If it wasn't for you

**Kagomegirl: Thanks to the help with Eos-Hime we have another chapter ^_^ I sadly can't do much at the moment as im trying to qualify for keeping my current job. Being an Insurance Sales agent/trainee is HARD. anyways on to the chapter. **

**Eos-hime: This chapter is a bit short but I cannot do much more in my current situation... I have my exams near and also my experiment in school is starting – I need to complete it this academic year. So I hope you can bear with us until then...**

**_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

**Chapter 15**

**If it wasn't for you...**

Isumi smiled at Deryl, they both watched first elimination round, for now it was good for them – all six was doing great job.

"How is he?" asked Isumi "In fact I was hoping to see him."

"Not yet, for now I'm more than enough." Deryl stated "But it's true – I did hoped to bring him with me." his face was calm, but Isumi could see impatience in him.

"You wish to see how he looks at Touya." Isumi face didn't changed at all "I know, you..."

"I have nothing but one wish – and that is for Hikaru to be happy." whispered Deryl "Nothing more or less. Whether it would be be with that idiot or Etoile or myself – I don't care, at least for now."

During that time Akira was also watching games, slowly closing to where Isumi was. With one look at both Academy Teams he froze.

"Those moves...."

"Touya-san." Isumi eyed at him "Something that recalls memories?"

Pattern of six games was more or less resembling those that Hikaru would play, not as strong or complexed but caring part of Sai's ability and knowledge.

"Those are Sai's students." said Akira

Later when games ended (with six Academy wins) they looked toward Akira, Ryu spoke...

"I'm Ryu, leader of our Go-class." he didn't bow, just looked calmly into his eyes "Our Sensei sends you best wishes and hopes that you will enjoy our playing. We trained hard to not disappoint him."

"Your Sensei?" asked Akira, he tried to sound normally, but he couldn't hide his emotions.

"Our Sai-sensei." Damien stood beside Ryu

Those who stood near reacted on Sai's name 'cos that was a name recognized in every country ever since that summer in the past. Deryl smirked knowingly and proudly since it was according to their plan.

"None of you is mistaken, those kids here have met Sai." Deryl's words ringed in others minds, he was speaking in English, so most of people understood. "True Sai had died, but he left a student – New Sai is currently with us. He trained those kids and one of them will reach the Hand of God with New Sai"

"New Sai..." whispered Akira "Hikaru..."

Deryl looked at Ryu who nodded and spoke "We will be in your care for now – we hope to learn much from all of you. Anne..." He looked at girl

"That's true, we have never played in such Tournaments – our school serves other purposes... so we hope to have your help. We are pleased to meet you all – those who stepped on the same path." Hikaru students bowed slightly and left.

Later in hotel room they laughed, it was something that they would remember forever...

"Did you see it? On Sai's name they were speechless." Anne bit her lip "I didn't know... Hikaru-sensei master was this important, he himself has great abilities – will we be able to satisfy him?"

"You cannot speak like that now. We were chosen – that's why we can do this." Ciel spoke with unusual pride "We all saw Touya-san face... our game is carrying Hikaru-sensei knowledge and desire to reach the highest goal." his words hit them, "We – ourselves want to win for his sake. That is why we will."

It was true for all of them – that was the truth – for them just playing in Academy with Sensei was good... this Tournament, additional work and even coming here, all that was for Hikaru.

"Today you all did well." Deryl stated "Keep it up. I will report this to Hikaru and Etoile." they smiled at this, "You should rest for now, no practise – go to the hotel's pool or something like that."

Ryu sat in the garden wandering about many things – it bothered him, how that Touya-player acted once he heard of Sensei...

"You noticed that too?" Angela asked as she sat beside him, Robin stood graceful few matters away "I think that he may want Sensei for himself."

"I think that too, he is going to fall into pieces... his eyes show almost as much pain as Hikaru-sensei bright ones." Ryu bit his lip "He regrets... and loves him. With that there is a chance that they will start off once again."

Angela looked toward setting sun with stone face "That would be the best for Sensei." her voice ached a little as she spoke once more "What we wish is his happiness." She hated to speak those words "He is better in his own world."

"Angela." Ryu stood up with sudden realization of his own feelings "I see your point, but I will not accept that this easy... that man will have to prove that he won't break Sensei heart and soul again. Unless he does that..." boy lowered his head to hide blush on his face "I will not accept him."

Angela smiled softly "I wonder what it was... what in him made us so gentle toward him – what made us love him."

**Next day**

After another round of matches it was obvious that they will be accepted – Isumi informed them officially and said that it's all for now.

"Well then – we will see you next time." Ryu spoke calmly "But before we go I want to speak with Him – in private." his eyes focused on Isumi "I want to speak with Touya Akira"

Some time later Touya faced Ryu "What do you want?" asked Akira-Pro with stone face

"I...?" Ryu bit his lip " I want nothing from you – nor do I expect anything from likes of you." his words were cold, his stance showed clearly that idea of 'giving' his Sensei to this man wasn't to his liking "I just want to ask. What do you plan to do once you see our Sensei?" reading shock on his face, Ryu continued; "We know that you hurt him badly – I will not let you do that again – Sensei is important to me... to us."

"What can you know – you are..."

"Young? Don't make me laugh!" Ryu shouted "I have lived long enough to say what is important to me – unlike you I care for those who show me interest and heart. That is probably 'cos of my own rotten family," Ryu smiled bitterly; "It was the same for all of us – He made no difference between us... our families didn't bother him. That is why we came to love him – with pleasure we see change in his sad eyes." his eyes shined with even more intense light "If I could I would make him hate you." with those words he left the room.

Akira felt that his legs given up, his hands gripped on the carpet. Unknowingly Ryu said something that made Akira happy; "Does it mean that he doesn't hate me?" there was no one that could answer, but his heart filled up with warm feeling,."Maybe, just maybe... He doesn't hate me. If that's the case he may come... he may let me apologize." Akira cried, tears were slipping by his face as he whispered; "If he doesn't hate me..." doors opened silently, so Akira lifted his face.

"You are actually able to cry." Deryl looked at Pro with stone face; "Remember one thing, even if he doesn't hate you – that doesn't mean anything. I will not give him to you without a fight. He will stay with us, Academy will make his life easy and grant any wish he may have."

"I hear that again – anything that He wants." Akira collected himself to face other one "Who are you people?

"Don't be sneaky. Remember that we can support our words with action – That Tournament... shall prove that I'm not lying." he turned back to leave the room; "But I should thank you, if it wasn't for you I would never have met him – I could never fall in love with him... Thank you Touya-pro"

Akira stayed alone in dark room with tears still sneaking out of his eyes "Fall in love?"

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**Well thats all for now ^_^ i hope you enjoyed it. feel free to reply and tell us what you think.**


	17. Ever since we first met

**Chapter 16**

**Ever since we first met**

After return to Academy teams couldn't rest easy – they had only three months before next selection and had to train even harder than before – that time was almost ended. Hikaru was proud of their effort so far.

"Impressive." Etoile praised as she observed games played in Go-club room, not only teams practised but a whole group "You have them interested, I must say I didn't expected this much."

"Teams are going in a week. Second Selection will lead us to the Finals." Hikaru looked sure of his words "I have a request."

"I know." Shelly put her hand on his shoulder "I will go – Deryl got agitated last time... I think he came to hate that person."

"Hate? It's easy to hate – Akira act so composed and doesn't interact with people too much... that's why he is called a cold person. I wouldn't be mistaken if I said that only me saw more that Go-pro in him" Hikaru rose his hand and put it on girl small one "His life is Go... he doesn't posses anything accept of his Go. I'm different – I came across on Go when I was twelve, he as two years old kid. We are totally different to begin with – Sai would be better with Akira..."

"No, I don't think so." Shelly stated "If that was true he would see him behind you, but Akira love for Go isn't enough – or it would be better to say that it burned away in the proces." Shelly knew for some time already, about Hikaru greatest secret. "Sai had chosen you – Kami-sama had chosen you for him."

_**Flash back**_

It was when first selection took place, both of them one played a game and later talked about many things.

"You see, the worst thing is that he wasn't mistaken – not that much to be precise." Hikaru said when he was cleaning his stones "Sai wasn't whole different person in our world terms."

"Hikaru?"

"Shall I tell you? - Will you believe me?" his face at that moment took unusually sad expression "I was Sai's hands, I placed stones for him." tears slipped from Hikaru eyes "Sai was a ghost from the past."

"Ghost?" that was all that unbelievable, in fact that explained much "Were you a vessel, Hikaru?"

"Sai came to me on that attic where I saw Goban for the first time, all he wanted was to play Go... so I let him. Sai wish became mine." Shelly eyes were shocked, was it all just 'cos of an old Goban, fact that he played Go and met them.

_**End of the Flashback**_

"Sai had chosen you." Shelly hand slipped down "And we did the same."

Time passed by very quickly soon it was time to depart for Japan again. Etoile stood with kids at her side "Hikaru, I'm leaving school within your care – We will do our best there."

"And we will keep everyone in line here." Hikaru put his hand on Deryl shoulder "Have some fun there as well."

"Shelly..." Deryl started but she looked at him with stoic face

"It's nothing. I will be fine there." Etoile lowered her head "I'm off."

"Have a safe trip... and return quickly" Hikaru bowed "I will do my best in here."

"I know." she rested her head on his chest "Thank you... for telling me." last three words she whispered into his ear.

**In Japan**

Etoile stood calmly before Japan Institute of Go, her face shown no emotions at all "Are you ready? You are to do as I said." her beautiful hairs floated with the wind "I will not tolerate any mistakes."

"Yes, we know what to do." Damien stood at her left hand and Ryu and right one.

"Do your best."

"We will." they knew that on how the perform will depend people opinion about Sensei.

"Ryu." she stopped him as everyone else went up "I have one more thing to ask of you – refrain from talking with Touya Akira... he suffered long enough – I'm sure that he had changed already."

"Etoile-sama, that man irritates me" said Ryu "I hate him."

"But, what if Hikaru still loves him? We cannot openly fight him like this – that may drove Hikaru into hating us." Etoile bit her lip "I don't like him as well, but there must be something in him, for a person such as Hikaru to love him. Something that charmed Hikaru."

"I haven't seen anything worth his love, considering a fact that you or Deryl-senpai are an option in here too. Touya Akira is nothing more that Go-playing doll, he is empty" Ryu recalled their last metting and blushed realizing that empty person wouldn't cry "Anyone from Academy will be better for Sensei."

Later during Elimination games Etoile spotted Akira as he constantly watched Ryu game, with graceful smile she stepped closer.

"It's an honour to meet you Touya-pro." she bowed with grace showing him respect in old fashioned way

"Who are you?" he looked at her "Where is that man?" she realized that he talked about Deryl

"I would like to apologize to you for my subordinate bold actions." Etoile assured "It was made of concern toward our beloved friend. Are you shocked by my actions?" she looked at his face "I'm not Deryl, as Etoile I have many duties and rules to hold onto – I will not attack you... unless you hurt Him."

"Hurt?" Akira looked back at the Goban "I will not hurt him – if he returns I just want to see him. I want to tell him how stupid I was. I was so stupid – since that day we met... I should have acted more considerate."

Shelly looked at Akira and couldn't stop strange idea that crossed her mind just now – Akira truly resembled Hikaru. He also suffered once they were apart. She realized that this boy saw Hikaru as more than friend – Akira had loved Hikaru for a long time, maybe longer that Hikaru loved him."

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_**kagomegirl:**__ Hey everyone thanks for the reviews and sorry i havent gottten around to beta'ing all the chapters. I have been havinf problems with being allergic to something and not being able to find out what it is. so now im taking benadryl and it sucks!! anyways thanks again and hopefully i can get my new laptop to help with the betaing. _

_Thanks once again to Eos-hime for helping me write this out. i could never have done this without her!!_


	18. Dreaded Author note

**A/N:**

Ok So I have been neglecting this Fic due to many family problems. I am soooo sorry Eos-hime has been naggin me to post it ^____^;;;; so I must say SORRY!!

All of you readers out there have been so patient with me so I hope that you will continue to be so in the future.

I am currently at my gran's taking care of her since she is unable to be by herself for long periods of time until the day she dies. We are also trying to pay all her and my gramp's medical bills which are sky high!! Just last month we got a bill for $11,000. Gag!!!!

Anyways we now have settled my gramps in a boarding home instead of the nursing home he was in and it seems to be a better environment for him. Plus it's cheaper lol.

So without further ado here are your next 2 chapters!!

Much love,

~Kit


	19. As we speak

**Chapter 17**

**As we speak**

Shelly was enjoying her time in Japan, it was nice to rest from Academy duties – especially knowing that Hikaru guarded it himself. Thare was only one thing that troubled her – that talk with Touya Akira shown his true feelings toward Hikaru – it worried her... but on the other hand, if that would bring Hikaru happiness.

"I cannot be selfish. Etoile... cannot be like that." she stated "But it hurts me so much." she looked around the park where she waited for Isumi.

"I'm sorry for being late!" he shouted as he run toward her "I was stopped after game."

"It's nothing to be concerned of." Shelly spoke "I would like to know the reason of this meeting." she wondered why would he asked her out to park like that – since the had nothing in common accept of this Tournament and knowing Hikaru.

"How is he doing?" asked Isumi

"It's not what you wanted to ask of me, is it?" Shelly smiled at his shocked face "I can tell, that is my ability and pride to know such things – apart from being thing that made my life miserable. I had joined Academy 'cos of that – and I have became an Etoile. I was given trust and love – they would obey me in any case."

"That Academy – what is it in reality?" Isumi asked "I know nothing."

"That true, no one from outside world should know. Even your letters where to be addressed to other place and then delivered to Hikaru by our students. It's our rule to be hidden – since that's only way we can live without being used. As individual we were alone and weak, but all together we create whole different situation – since our rule is loyalty." Etoile smiled "You wanted to ask if we will let him stay here, isn't that right?" she asked "Well, it's for him to decide, he is free to go wherever he wants – also he can return to us whenever he would want to. He had became one of us – we will support his decision, whatever it will be. No matter what happens."

"After doing so much for him? There must be a price that he has to pay."

"That's how you people think, we see it differently. Our money are being spend to bring us happiness... Hikaru brought us a lot of kind feelings – we have to support him for our sake. His happiness is ours. I will see you on ceremony – last game's are on today's evening, so after gathering we will return home."

"You have no reason to hurry." said Isumi "You could use some rest."

"No need for that – Hikaru is waiting, also kids want to train a bit more... and I want to spend some time with Him before we will face future. I want to crave this feeling in my heart, so I would never forget it." her eyes showed emotions that overflowed in her heart

"Feeling?" Isumi asked

"How it is to be with a person who doesn't care who I am or what I had done in the past. Person who doesn't care about my family" Isumi saw pain in her eyes and wondered what could she done in the past to have such empty eyes.

**Few hours later, Institute of Go**

Sixteen teams had been selected, now all celebrated that – Etoile looked great in her long silver dress... star that gives out most delicate light.

"Etoile-sama" Anne bowed "You look perfectly."

"Thank you."

"Are you known as Etoile?" she turned back to see man who asked her and faced strongest Go-pro in Japan.

"Touya-sensei." she lowered her head a bit "You are right, I'm Etoile." she looked up to him "What may you want from me?"

"Yours students boasted about Sai." stated man

"Neither our students nor Deryl lied to you – only Sai that now exist is with us in Academy." her eyes focused on man face "You too looked for him – He had told me... you were Sai only equal at that point of time."

"Told you?" man looked a bit shocked

"Our Sensei did, at that time you were one of steps that They had to take – for Sai and his pupil you were absolute need." Shelly realized already, that Sai left after showing Hikaru that game. She knew that this game was reason of Sai existence... or rather he stayed behind to show that game to Hikaru.

"I don't understand." said man

"There is no need for you to know, not yet at least." she turned back "Since everything will be told one day, by Him. Be ready to meet our Sensei."

"Etoile-sama! Etoile-sama!" Anne run fast despite of her formal clothing, she stopped right next to Shelly "Isumi-pro said that singer that was to come today isn't here... performance will be..."

"What?! That's a trouble, Headmaster requested best service for guests here." she whispered "Anne, we have no other choice... I will start, but" she looked toward where Damien and others stood "Tell her that we must work this out."

"Yes, we will."

"For sure." Shelly went toward the scene and announced "Due to unexpected incident singer signed up for today didn't reach this ceremony, but..." she smiled softly "I think that our Academy performance won't disappoint you. I, Etoile would like top dedicate this song for all who had lost the one they loved... Eternal snow..."

How long has it been since I fell in love with you?

My feelings only increase

Will you notice them

Even though I've never once put them into words?

Like the snow, they just

Quietly keep accumulating

Hold me tight- if this is how it feels

I didn't want to know

What it was like to be in love with someone

I love you- my tears won't stop

And so I wish

That I had never met you

How long will I be thinking of you?

My sighs fogged up the window glass

Can a candle flame

Still melt my trembling heart?

Hold me tight, tight enough to break me

So that even in an icy wind or a blizzard

I won't feel cold

I miss you- every time I think of you

Tonight, too, I hold

This half-finished muffler, all alone

If there was an eternally falling snow

Could it hide my feelings for you?

Hold me tight- if this is how it feels

I didn't want to know

What it was like to be in love with someone

I love you- the feeling wells up in my chest

I want to shout to the wintery sky

"I want to see you right now"

With the last word she looked at Akira who stood among the crowd and whispered "Love may break humans when they don't admit it." Everyone were still frozen by that great interpretation given by Etoile, charmed by beautiful girl that sang. As for Akira he remembered – all the times that he played Hikaru – their passionate Go... but failed to see other feelings.

"Were you thinking the same of me Hikaru? That you don't want to love me if that if how it feels?"

"I would like to introduce to you our school best vocalist Angela."

Girl looked as if she was seeing different place and time, the moment her lips opened anything else silenced. Her voice grasped everything pain and love, feeling of being hurt by love.

Silent rain fell down softly

_Without raising the umbrella, I was going home from school_

_What were you thinking that day?_

_My heart was hurt in this flame of love_

_I feel that it's fate that we could meet each other_

_But I just wonder how long this happiness could last_

_The rains poured on me that don't know the severity of love_

_The cold was as if testing on both of us_

_The shadow of the school, there wasn't any echoes at all_

_The time when we were together just passed away_

_I would like to be by your side, right now it's just that_

_If I were by your side, I think I will understand the meaning_

_Everybody will be perplexed if there are misunderstandings_

_But if I hold on your hand tightly, I won't be afraid of anything_

_Because it's still an unseen love_

_The sky that's started to cry covering us up, like this, right here_

_It's okay if we are said to be immature_

_We are prepared to know pain_

_I would like to keep on protecting you._

_I don't know the severity of love_

_The cold was as if on both of us .._

_The rains poured on me that don't know the severity of love_

_The cold was as if testing on both of us._

_The sky that's started to cry covering us up, like this, right here_

_So that your heart wouldn't be like this sky_

_Always, and always, yes always._

_We don't know the severity of love and we could reach until here_

_So that your tears wouldn't be like this rain_

_Always, and always, yes always_

"We wish you luck in final preparations and gracefully inform that Sai-sensei will come along with us next time." girl voice rang in their ears "Stay safe until then."

__________________________________________________________________________________

_Used songs aren't mine: (As listed below)_

_'Eternal snow' – is from Fullmoon wo Shagashite_

_'Rain' – is from Hikaru no Go_


	20. Loved by God

Chapter 18

Loved by God

Hikaru felt cold breeze rush by his face, he loved it – to see calm Academy grounds at night. His wounded heart was healed by this place and he was grateful – well maybe healed wasn't right word, more like he overcame all his pain.

"Hikaru?" Deryl called him "You should sleep already, lack of sleep won't help you – it will damage your health."

"Hey. I couldn't sleep." Hikaru smiled at his friend "I was wondering – can I live outside? I here I calmed down, but..."

"You are the one to choose." Deryl put his hand on Hikaru shoulder "We can only support you, I just hope that you will come back with us... you on the other hand may choose not to." man looked up to not show his face that shined with tears "No matter what will you choose I will be happy as long as you will be happy."

"I look really ungrateful, am I not? After all you did."

Deryl looked at Hikaru and said softly "All we did – was done for ourselves, to light up feelings you have given to us." he was very serious now "You don't owe us anything, you never did and never will be."

Hikaru smiled softly at that remark "I'm truly grateful – and I'm not saying that I won't return. I just don't know. Even if Akira won't respond to my feelings I may stay there... I must play to reach Hand of God."

"Play with stronger players – is that what you mean?" Deryl asked "You may do as you please with our full support."

It was strange to hear a declaration like that, even after so long Hikaru could get used to this – absolute power within hands. Power to do as he liked with them and getting whatever he desired.

"We see you as loved by God." stated Shelly who came right behind him "From the moment I saw you, your aura was different than any other human. Marked by Sai soul and God wish to lead you. We were put on your path so you wouldn't stray of it and you on ours..." she stopped for a second "You on ours so we could met one person who will see us in normal light."

"That's very true." they heard Ryu voice "It's give and take game – we just seek different things out of it."

"Speaking of being different." Hikaru looked up "We were like night and day – he so serious about Go and life... me on the other hand carefree and easy going in Go. Come to think of it, I crushed his world the moment I entered his Go-salon with Sai."

"Not crushed, but rebuild." Shelly pointed out "His Go wouldn't expand so much if it weren't for Sai and you." Etoile smiled softly "He was touched by it too, God will and wish – he is to drive you even higher up – to Hand of God." her words were a bit sad "Whether you will be lovers or rivals or even enemies – paths that were connected by God will never be separated again. Even if we hate to admit that – only he can push you up to reach your dream. His Go – formed by resolve to defeat a boy who claimed to never play before and still beat him in a game of Go"

"I did said that – I never played before. That was quite shocking to him, but it was indeed true. Simply I wasn't the one who played. Sai was overjoyed that day – he played his old joseki too, since we didn't knew of changes. I wonder what would happen if I knew Go before Sai."

"Why?" Ryu listened carefully, he didn't understand most of it, since he hadn't had a chance to know Hikaru secret, but still he wanted to know about legendary Sai

"If I knew more of it I would probably do as He did – I would let Sai to play all the games he wanted." Hikaru bit his lip in regret

"Don't regret. You did as was to be – since Sai could be finally put in rest." Shelly said quickly "He don't want you to cry this over and over again."

" I want to play Akira as soon as its possible, I want to see how his eyes will change as I play Sai moves. That's what I want for now." said Hikaru and lied down with his head resting on Shelly's knees, she put her hand on his forehead "Can it be done?"

"I will see what I can do about it." she assured "and now sleep."

As he fallen into slumber Deryl smiled softly as his hands rested on Hikaru's "He finally understood that he must do is to ask. Sadly he did it now, when it's coming to an end."

"No, in fact that's just the beginning." Etoile mumbled "I have a feeling that he will need our help again sooner or later. God loves him, enough to keep wandering spirit for a millennium just to show him one game – and ones that God loves must face pain... in the past, now and in the future."

"Loved by God." Ryu repeated "That match him well – but what was that about a Spirit."

"That's not something to talk about so casually." cut Etoile "That's His matter and I won't tell you."

During that time headmaster sat in his room with sad expression on his face, his mind was elsewhere "Loved by God – that match him perfectly. This school had became his in no time."

"I don't know much about God, but isn't that about how he lives?" Adam-sensei asked while setting another stone "He captured their hearts by his burning desire to reach his goal and by soft heart that cried over master loss."

"I have a feeling that he will come back one day – with greater problem." Headmaster placed his stone "His path is thorny one – that I must admit."

"We will reduce it." both elders turned their heads toward the doors. "We will reduce thorns from his path and keep on protecting him until his time will end."

"Deryl-san." Headmaster whispered "Is there anything I can do for you at this hour?"

"He made a wish – to play with Touya Akira. As soon as he can to do so."


	21. The Wind

**Hey:) It's the next chapter... the wind is blowing and I promise that in chapter 20 it will blow right into Akira's face.**

**Chapter 19**

**The wind**

Hikaru stood on the school roof and looked up to the sky. His long hairs were put in high ponytail leaving bleached parts to flow around his face. His cloths were made from soft silky material that fit his body perfectly, upper part was reminding of kimono that Sai once wore. Girls even put mascara and lip gloss on him – so his eyes shined more and his lips stayed soft all the time, or so they said. He looked as if he was rich boy. "It's not me." he mumbled to himself

"Those clothes look good on you." Shelly appeared next to him "We must go; the students are waiting for you in Great Hall. Whole school wants to see you off and wish good luck."

"They would do anything to please you – I'm not the one who they want to see." Hikaru played with his fan "Isn't that right?"

"That's not true – you had become one of us. You gained their true approval as a teacher." Shelly put her hand on his "We will all pray for your return – but if that would mean that your wish won't be granted we will resign from it..."

"I no longer know what I should wish for." Hikaru bit his lip "I want to play Akira, but now that I'm to go, I would like to stay. This school is safe place that helped me out in more than one case. What would I do if I didn't come here and if I should really go – those are questions I don't have answers for."

"It was you who helped us." Shelly stated the matter with calm face "We rely on you more than you realize Hikaru, on your love toward us and wish to go further and further. We learned from you that we cannot give up. I myself learned much about love, you were the wind that blew by this place leaving it changed to same point."

"Shelly." Hikaru said softly "I'm truly sorry, even if it's you... I'm still"

"That's all right, it's a bit bitter for someone like me to loose, but it happens... I wonder if it wasn't the reason – I mean maybe, I have grown to love you so much because I couldn't have you. You were first person to refuse me."

They entered Grand Hall – Hikaru slowed down to let her pass a first and went one step behind her (in such formal meeting he decided to follow old rules, saying that Etoile is first person in whole school). Only few times up until now he saw students of all levels at once. Grand Hall was huge room divided into five parts. Main part was for class representatives, School Council and Etoile. Four walls marked four other divisions (elementary school, middle school, high school, and university students).

"She's our Etoile." elementary students whispered "How beautiful, he must be the one she cares for – they look so good together."

"Hello everyone." Shelly smiled softly as she reached her destination. She was standing face to face toward class represents with Student Council behind her. "I hope that you are all well. Report's in." she ordered.

"Elementary level, class 1-A... all present." said girl with scared face, it must have been first time that she was to report on formal meeting "We...we... hope that you are felling well, Etoile-s...sama." then she looked at Hikaru and with small bow she added "We pray for you well being Hikaru – sama." she blushed "I'm sorry Hikaru – s...sensei"

"Either is fine." said Hikaru "And both were well said."

After that each class welcomed them in similar way. For most she kept on smiling as it ended she spoke - her eyes stopped on Hikaru "We will send off very important person, in short time Hikaru became part of a Student Council, person that was adored by me and many other people" she looked at Deryl who now stood right beside Hikaru "He even became a teacher and lead his students to finals of International Go Tournament. Here is no reason to hide the fact that he may not return from Japan." students listened calmly, they all realized that some reason drove Hikaru here and all that was prepared to let him find the best place to be. "In Japan many hardships awaits him, many memories that he would gladly forget – but we all know that hiding is even worse than pain."

They knew that, each one of them was running away from something. It was good to see how one of them could go and face his world – such thing would give them hope that their lives can be better in the future. That there won't be a reason to run – on some day in the future.

"But he is still one of us." Etoile took over again "That's why you are here, do you remember the rule that binds us no matter where we are?"

In silence everyone nodded – Etoile looked at girl that spoke first – little girl from elementary school. Girl bowed and spoke with her hand on heart "We are being proud members of St. Peter Academy, as such we see ourselves as one mind and soul. Under any crisis we would help another; we would endure any pain for Academy. We are bind by Student Council regulations, but if by any means Etoile broke oath to justify settle our matters... we... we would replace her by more fitting candidate. No matter what happens we sworn to each other to support and protect one another."

"Good girl." said Etoile "Hikaru may leave, but as one of us he has right to ask for support from any of you."

"If I could help don't fear to ask me as well." said Hikaru, he wanted to crave this moment in his heart, that feeling he had inside his soul – love, that is pure and eternal. The feeling of being needed

**Japan, few hours later**

Hikaru sat on the hotel chair and waited as Deryl went to check on their rooms, Shell sat right next to him and kids went to got something to drink. Etoile looked a bit troubled her eyes were on Hikaru who was acting slightly off ever since they left the Academy.

"If you don't want too, we should return." she said

"No, I just – just cannot focus now." his eyes drifted from hers.

"You are afraid, but that's normal. Don't fret over the things you cannot change – on the other hand if they can be changed just say, they will." Shelly put her hand on his shoulder "We will do as you want. Do you want to visit your home?" she asked softly "Or maybe some other places? Say?" she insisted "We have entire day for you to enjoy."

"Hikaru?" soft voice asked from behind, Akari looked shocked by Hikaru look "Is that really you?"

"Akari, so good to see you." he pulled the girl in a tight hug and laughed "You are more of girl then before."

"Geez, Hikaru! Quit acting like a kid, I was a girl all time along." Akari eyes landed on Shelly, with smiled of understanding he bowed her head to her "You must be the one. Mysterious Etoile..." she said with faint laugher "Thank you."

"It's nothing." Shell held her hand out to the girl "I did as I always do – what it think is right. I also didn't do that only for him." Etoile smiled softly "You and Hikaru will never understand how much good thing he brought in to us. Thanks to him many of the students will leave Academy to try. That alone is payment greater than money."

"As expected from our Etoile." Hikaru remarked "Everything has two sides." he looked at Akari "You see, Shelly is most wise person in the Academy and manages all social and personal affairs there. Nothing can happen unless she let it."

Soon they went to room that were reserved for them, Akari stood in Hikaru room a bit shocked "That's high-class room Hikaru."

"Is it?" Hikaru put out the stones and board that were in big box and pointed at the Goban "Let's play Akari."

"Sure." she was still a bit restless "Are you sure its fine? Can you afford it?"

"I? No, no... But if I wanted to change it, I would probably put this hotel I trouble." he laughed "If I did Shelly and Deryl would think that I didn't liked it or that it was damaged in some way. That's why I cannot say such things and you better not too."

"So, it's paid by school?" she rested before the board "It's in deed high-class school."

"To be more exact – by Deryl father." his response was quick and solid "Or maybe, by Shelly or some other student. We don't care for such things – someone cared for me enough to go ask and book it for me, so I have no right to complain."

"That Academy must be great thing." she said quietly while placing her handicap "You had became part of it – you say 'We'."

"Yes, I do. After what they did for me – regardless for the reason, I must be grateful. I am, very much. To tell you the truth I still think about what I should do: stay or return. For now I still don't know."

**Next day**

Hikaru opened his eyes to see what was causing such a noise in his room... it turned out to be Shelly that knocked to his taras window with her cutest smile on the face "Wake up sleepy head! We must leave in two hours!" he frowned and mumbled something but she didn't listen "No way! We must dress you up!" He had to give up and got up.

They indeed were spending a lot of time in dressing him up, silky cloths in many designs waited for him in dress room. But Shelly picked one especially for the occasion...

Black pants and long blouse that was looking a bit like short kimono, it had silver peals of roses scattered on it. It was master piece that she prepared herself. She put his hairs up leaving bleached parts to swing around his face and worked at his makeup.

"Perfect." she said "Legendary Sai is going to steal hearts." she joked "You are perfect."

"Thanks, but I would pass on stealing hearts for now." he laughed "You look great yourself. You are going to steal more than I." he complimented her choice of clothing, jeans and blouse that resembled his with one difference (blouse itself was silver and peals were black). "But I hope that didn't pass them around to everyone. We would look funny."

"No." she stopped for a second and took something out from her pocket "Deryl wants you to have something. I should have thought of earlier, but it was going so quick... You must have noticed that all have something with Academy Emblem. Its different thing for each one of us." she looked at her ring "He ordered this for you. Hoping that you would like to wear it today, it's the same as his." he took out the gift and stopped breathing for a sec. it was a delicate pendant that would complete his clothing for that day.

"You will spoil me horribly. How will I return to my reality?" he asked

"If you cannot – just don't." she said while hugging him tightly "We do hope that we will have you forever." she kissed his cheek lightly and left "Even though we know how you feel. Just do like you wish, there is nothing above that Hikaru. We are leaving in few minutes, I'm going to check if cars I rented already came." she waved her hand and went off.

"What I want? I would love to know that, Shelly. I really would love to know."

_Things are looking up it seems and the climax is soon to come. What will happen when akira meets the new SAI? How will he react to seeing hikaru? How will Hikaru's friends react to the new look? Find out soon!! _

_**Until next time….**_

A/N: hey all sorry about the wait but my dear Eos-hime who is helping me write this out has been sick. She still is but she was kind enough to send me the newest chapter. Lets all give her a warm thanks for this wonderful chapter ^_^


	22. I'm Sai

**Hi! I Hope you are all good. We are sorry for keeping you.. but finally we present you with new chapter of our story.**

_Disclaimer: neither of us own Hikaru no Go sadly otherwise hikaru and akira would always be paired together ^_~_

**Chapter 20**

**I'm Sai**

Institute didn't changed while he was away, everything was the same as if nothing happened, as if all pain that Hikaru felt up until now had no meaning... and maybe that was the case, there was no meaning in who they were and what they felt – their Go was only important thing."No meaning, right? Our pains are only the fuel to our Go... isn't that right Sai?" Hikaru finger went by the fan that was in his hands, Shell looked at him with concern but it was stopped once he asked "Shelly, where is Isumi?"

"Isumi-boy is on second floor, first room on the right." old voice answered his question before Shelly could even open her mouth "You made me wait horribly long time, you have no respect for your elders, young boy."

"Kuwabara-sensei?!" Hikaru blinked and stopped "How did you..?"

"Boy, it takes much more for me to miss my heir then long hairs and new cloths. Those looks good by the way, you should consider some safety matters – someone may try to jump you." old man laughed "I was waiting for you arrival. My title is waiting for you – only you can get it."

"Sensei?" Hikaru breathed hard in shock "Your title? Heir?"

"Sai... I choose like He did. You were His final choice. Sai's student, friend, and most importantly… his Heir." Kuwabara said in silent voice "I have known ever since I first saw you, Sai stood next to you. His moves melted with yours... New Sai, that's who you have become,."

"You have known?" he asked bluntly but on the spot he calmed himself, he could not act as Hikaru would, he was changed. "I see, you are Honninbo. Was that story passed down? Or maybe you are of those Kuwabara? Which is it Sensei?"

"Brat." old man laughed and turned around to stop taking "We will speak later on."

"Fine with me." Hikaru smirked "I will hold you to your words Sensei. Your title – I will take it, so wait for me."

"I hope so... I really do." said Kuwabara as he left the building.

Hikaru's eyes were brighter than before, he had found another person who could see Sai – a person who could see him on the board and divide him from Sai himself. He left, as Kuwabara told him to meet with Isumi, along with Etoile. Deryl and teams went to the meeting Hall to wait for the ceremony to start.

"Hey, Isumi," Hikaru smiled brightly at his friend "How have you been?"

"Shindo!" Isumi dropped paper he hold and went to great other boy "It's been ages, you look great, that hair..." Isumi was happy to see his long awaited friend, "I had a talk with Kuwabara just now, he wanted to know when you are going to return. This old man is waiting for you."

"I met him as well." Hikaru responded "That old man hasn't changed, even a bit. But he can understand me." Hikaru played with his fan "He knows me better then I believed he did."

"Does he? I have no idea what you are talking about." Isumi remarked "But judging by your face I won't know for a long time. So, should we get down to business? You wished to be named as Sai?" Hikaru nodded "And that game I heard of on the phone is your idea?"

"Sure, I asked for it – it's nothing much and after all it will entertain people too." Hikaru smiled "That game is what I need to prove who I am. Not only to Akira, but to all of them, it will be my first step."

"That's fine. As you wish – it will be a request from the one who is sponsoring this Event, so it will go as you wish. Do you need anything else? You or your kids?" Isumi wanted to make sure that Hikaru had everything he needed.

"Yeah, I got all I need." Hikaru looked at Etoile who was looking down by the window and asked "How is it?"

"We will be able to start soon." Shelly sat down "So, are you ready?"

"I am, as much as I can possibly be." Hikaru said, fan pressed tightly to his heart "Let's play!"

"Play to your heart content, so you won't have any regrets." Etoile whispered, her hand gently touched the fan on Hikaru chest "Your Go and Sai's Go – two wills that became one. Let's show it to the world... let's carve your Go into their minds."

Hikaru smiled softly, before his eyes he had all the time he spend with Shelly and others – in that place where everyone is free to do as they wish. They believed him, protected him and understood him in any matter. Fact of his past had never separated them... they loved him.

"Yes." he put his arm on her shoulders and they left to join teams. Deryl waited for them next to main hall and stood by Hikaru other side. This way they entered drawing all attention and eyes.

"How does it feel?" asked Deryl "To be in the center of attention, _Sai-sama_?"

"And am I?" Hikaru let go of Shelly arms and clasped his hands "I expect much from you." he said while looking at his kids "And the same to all that gathered here, let show them from what we are made of."

"This is Sai?" everyone asked "Impossible, that's a kid."

"Kid? It may be true... right Etoile?" his voice was calm and collected "I'm still a bit young if you compare me with your Masters. My Go doesn't belong to me alone; it was not born from my mind. The one who craved it was Sai. I have now inherited his name – I have become Sai." they looked at him, a beautiful young man who was talking calmly and regally. "A New Sai, one that will rebuild the modern Go world."

"This Tournament was called because of our Sai's wish." said Etoile "He has things to do in Japan and wished to play with someone." The others gathered around her and Hikaru ,"Then we shall comply to his wishes, which will give you the answer as well, whether he is Sai or not... You should be able to judge that if you see his Go clash with other Pros." Etoile implied.

"That's how it is." Isumi said while coming near to them "Today we will hold a game that will let you judge who is He – he named a Pro who is on his mind." everyone tensed up, whispers made its way through the hall, _'Who is the one, named the strongest by this Sai? Who is the one playing today?' _

"I will not speak to prove who I am." Hikaru said while opening his fan and hiding lower part of his face with it, "I will show you, my Go and my soul that lies within. I was not born as Sai... but regardless to that I have become Sai. And I'm the game I play." Hikaru laid his eyes on one person who could understand the meaning "I'm the game I play; I'm ready to prove it to you... That I'm the one who Sai left behind."

Akira froze those words... those eyes... and the air around him. That person who calls himself Sai – Akira observed him ever since they entered with swift pain in his heart as he saw how close those people were to him. This 'New Sai' was a bullshit... that was Shindo Hikaru, his – Akira's – rival. Pain and anger... that was mixed with the feelings he could name. "We will see, if you are really Sai." Akira said.

"As expected from the Prince of Go." Hikaru joked, "Its fine, I will play you. I came with this in my mind."

"Sensei," Ryu moved closer "Please show him, your Go... Sai's Go."

Akira looked at the boy who was so close to Hikaru and realized what he felt – this anger was made of the pain of being alone again. He, Akira was alone for so long and Hikaru had simply gotten a lot of people around him again. '_Your Go, your smile... they are both only mine. You're everything is mine. I will show you – only mine, as only I can be your rival.'_

Shelly looked at Akira with wonder, her mind could read his clearly – what this boy felt was... this feeling was...

_**Eos-hime:**_ I hope that you liked this chapter as much as I did – this was quite hard to write, but I hope it came out well.

_**Kagomegirl: **_Sorry it took so long!! My dear friend Eos-Hime had life come a calling it seems lol. Remember to review as much as possible as it helps us know what you like and didn't like about each chapter of this story.


	23. Behind the game

**Hello! Its me Eos-hime and kagomegirl – I hope that everybody enjoyed last chapter...**

**In this chapter there will be lines from the anime – in form of memories – so let us say it – We don't own Hikaru no Go... ^+^ **

**Chapter 21**

**Behind the game**

Hikaru looked at Akira's face with slight sadness in his eyes, he would dream about their meeting for so long and yet his precious rival was angry at the sight of him. '_Makes me wonder if I should have come. But what bugs me even more is that I still think of him this way – that I call him my rival.' _Hikaru bit on his lip and frowned _'No, I can't think of it – I have a game to play. Game that he would be proud of, in his place... since he is no longer here; and for myself so I would be free.' _Hikaru noticed that Kuwabara-sensei entered the hall and looked at him with great interest, that old man knew what most of the people couldn't know – that this game would decide the future of Japan's Go World.

"Board." as those word left his lips Ryu and Ciel moved a big box that was put aside and started to set up that board, "This game will be played on the board I prepared. I hope it's all right." Hikaru said "This board..." he was cut off by Akira's remark.

"It doesn't really matter." Akira was trembling inside, but still only hateful words were coming out from him, it was the first time that he felt this way '_I wonder why, I just want him to look at me – and yet why am I say things like this?'_

"You think so?" Hikaru took the cloth from Ciel's hands and lowered himself to make sure that the board was clean, "This board is what gave me a chance to meet you all." Hikaru said silently _'If it wasn't for this board I would never have met you!' _Hikaru's fingers moved by the place once marked by the bloody tears "Sai." he whispered...

**Flashbacks **

"I know this!" girl said while looking at it with interest "It's the table you use for Gomoku Narabe, right?"

"It looks really old, maybe grandpa used it when he was young." The boy was uninterested in the table itself, "Maybe I can get quite the penny for this."

_**Even now at that memory Hikaru smiled bitterly on how unworthy he was to be chosen.**_

"Why isn't this stain coming off?" boy mumbled silently while rubbing the board

"Huh? There aren't any satins it's pretty," the girl couldn't see it.

"This is right here."

"Where?"

"Here!"

_**I was so hot-headed back then **_

"Can you see it?" question that came out of the darkness

"I have been telling you, I can..."

"Can you hear my voice?" this question was filled with emotions, surprise and joy "You can hear my voice, can't you?"

"Who is it?"

"I found someone! I finally found someone..."

"Who are you? Is that you grandpa, come out..." girl ran away at this.

"The gods before me, I thank you." voice was closing in embracing the boy who didn't understand what was happening, "I... I will now once again return to the living world." the one who was talking appeared before the boy.

_**I wish it could happen once more **_

Memory of the boy who was the first to play Sai 'thru Hikaru's hands – that marked the beginning of their story...

**End of the Flashbacks**

Shelly felt dizzy from the feelings she could sense in the room, emotions and great amount of pain just between those two Pro players. It would be enough to shake her, but with the addition of everyone else who waited in anticipation for what was to happen... she moved closer to Hikaru and put her hand on his shoulder – pain... sadness... emptiness... loneliness... Sai crying face hidden behind the fan. She could see it clearly 'thru Hikaru's emotions.

"Etoile!" Deryl put his hands on her shoulders and gave others a sign to bring a chair for her

"Is she all right?" Hikaru didn't turn his eyes away from Akira, but in his question everyone could hear the worry and slight amount of guilt. That latest thing put most of observers in confusion, since they had no idea what happened to that young girl. "Deryl, is she all right?" he asked again.

"I'm fine." Shelly responded instead "I wasn't ready for this wave, that's all." she could sense each and every emotion in this room, Hikaru's desire to prove himself and Akira's jealousy toward anyone who was close to Hikaru. That feeling was the reason for his words and anger, it was what hit her the most – a desire to posses Hikaru's heart and mind that this boy wouldn't show to others, the need of being the only one in Hikaru's eyes, "I will be fine from now on. You don't need to worry about me."

"I see, I'm sorry – I just couldn't..." his words stopped as he realized that whatever he would say might endanger their secrets.

"I'm fine." she assured again "This won't happen again. I'm strong – it's nothing."

"This board is the core of it all." Hikaru looked at Akira with decisive eyes, "We must play on it."

"So this is it... this board in which He had hidden his will." The old voice closed on them "Boy, you have finally let me see it – Honinbo Shusaku's most favored board."

"Kuwabara-sensei." Hikaru said calmly despite the whispers that engulfed all room, "Yes, that is the one. Torajirō and His bond... and mine bonds with everyone as well." Hikaru sat before the board and smiled softly "Their wish to reach Hand of God is engraved in this wood and stones. That's why..." his eyes went to Akira angry and confused ones, "...we must play on it, after all I had seen you as my rival – the one with who I would reach it with."

Silent gasp escaped from one of the young Pros, nerd boy clasped his hand over his mouth, "This is Shindo Hikaru." Ochi whispered with his eyes wide open, shocked that he realized it just now. Everyone looked closely at the youngster who named himself Sai and even more voices called out "Shindo Hikaru, it's him."

"Shindo Pro?" The whispers that filled the room made Hikaru a bit sad as if it bothered him.

"Silence." Kuwabara said firmly "If you cannot concentrate on the game that is starting just leave." The old man was speaking in calm manner, "So what if that is Shindo-boy? I saw this from the very first moment and don't think it's the news of the millennium." A sly smile appeared on the old man's face, "Haven't we always suspected this boy of being more than just another brat playing go?" Kuwabara eyes were looking at the few who understood him very well "He just came one day - with old joseki and Shusaku moves... and as he came we all could see only him in the youngsters' wave. Wasn't it like that, Touya-junior?" The old man knew that many of the young pros realized that Shindo was Akira's rival even before he was an Insei.

"That's right." The calm voice made Akira shiver, "He was the one who set up the game with Sai for me, that's why he must be who he claims he is." Touya-sensei said out loud.

"Thank you." in the silence that came after that Hikaru spoke toward old Pro's "This game, I hope you will enjoy it. Even though it will be my Go, and not Sai's. I can play only my own Go now." he reached to take some stones "Nigiri."

"I'm white." Akira replied few seconds after.

"And I'm black." Hikaru let out a smile _'Sai loved to be black, he used to say that he never lost when he was black.' _

And with that the game started. Akira deep in his heart was very happy, his Hikaru was there and they played the game, finally... once more their Go could grow together, but Akira couldn't shake off his wavering feelings - that anger which wouldn't let him open for the game completely.

Shelly concentrated on Hikaru first to ensure herself that everything would be fine – his emotions were held up quite well, they would not get in the way. Akira was a bit more shaken, but as expected of a Pro it wouldn't hinder the game in her opinion. "Deryl" she uttered silently toward her friend "Prepare the car, today we won't have a chance to start the Tournament. Right after the game we will go – or else Hikaru will be troubled."

"Yes." Deryl took out his phone and send few messages "Anything else?"

"It's fine. Tell your men to secure the back doors – so we could leave without the fuss." she ordered, only Deryl, the kids and Kuwabara, who sat closely, were able to hear her.

"You are wise." commented the old Pro, "Are you playing as well?"

"Yes I do." Shelly responded "But not on the level that would interest a Honinbo Title Holder."

"If you say so; then let me ask you - Who will win?" asked the old teacher, "In your opinion."

"We are not interested in who would win." Shelly stated "This game has a greater value to us and to Hikaru." Her calm expression shocked Kuwabara, "Even that boy – Akira, isn't thinking of it this way. This game caries the meaning beyond winning or losing."

"You think so?" old man turned his gaze away from the board for the first time

"Yes. I know this – When you play with your equal even loosing may be a gift... since it means that you could play. For them, there is nothing more than the game – since they can only speak to each other 'thru this board. None of them posses a courage to speak out loud what they are thinking, that's why they must use Go to say what they want to convey." Shelly said "You know this, you knew even before the game started – Go is the game..."

"For two people." Kuwabara's eyes returned to the game before them, "But do you truly think that Touya-boy can hear him now?"

"Yes, he can, since he has the ability – but he doesn't want to." Shelly answered "This boy knows damn well that Hikaru is trying to tell him something, but he refuses to listen."

Shelly was right at this matter, Hikaru's words couldn't reach Akira only because of his anger and doubt; Hikaru was growing impatient.

"Pachi!" the stone hit the board soundly '_Why won't you listen? I know that you can... you can and yet, why? I'm trying to tell you... about Sai and me.' _

"Touya-junior is still a child." Kuwabara responded calmly so only Shelly could hear him "This may take some time, since the other is more mature and can wait."

"Hikaru isn't mature in anything except for Go." Shelly looked at the boy sadly, "He as well, is trying to hide his feelings."

**Two hours later**

Hikaru looked at the board with caution, now every move was either life or death for this game; he looked for the path to survive, _'Hikaru' _that voice and presence behind his back, the comforting feeling of his master and friend's aura. _'Sai's' _fan, that only Hikaru could see froze on the way to the board _'Sai is that you?' _in the split second Hikaru noticed what Sai wanted to tell him, there was a way to win

Akira froze in his place, somehow he could sense it again, and the presence from his first two games with Shindo. The aura that was around Shindo from the first time they met. The other Shindo – as he called him long ago. All of the sudden it had come the strongest wave. And the move that Hikaru just now made was... that one move – changed the game.

_'Hikaru' _thename once more escaped from the shadowy form, a soft smile bloomed on Sai's face as he looked at his student _'You have grown so much, there is no need for me to show you. I'm so happy – I would love to play you once again.' _shadowy arms embraced the boy and the figure melted away as if it was never there. But he was there, Hikaru knew he was and she knew as well...

_'That man was Sai, I'm sure his aura was melted in Hikaru's and it overflowed in that second. That was Sai!' _Shelly held her breath knowing that she witnessed something great '_But Sai should have returned to heaven by now; he did – and yet... why? Why did he appear? This is the begging of something great... What is God trying to do?' _Shelly turned her head away from Hikaru, her mind was captured by the memory of that man who extended his arms to hold Hikaru, who looked at the boy with love that could be equal to God's love. That man was Sai... the one who lived since the Heian period – just to play Go. And that soul who loved the game more than anything, came to Hikaru to teach this boy the love for the game. _'Sai's soul is still linked to Hikaru.' _Shelly concentrated on the board once more.

As of now the game was in Hikaru's favor but Akira didn't give up yet. Deryl moved closer to Shelly and asked "What I felt was...?" as he received the nod from her he asked again "That boy knows it, right? Touya's face changed as if he could tell that something changed."

"Yes, this boy played with Sai three times before. He knows whose move this was." her silent whisper was heard only by Deryl and Kuwabara who remained calm keeping to himself if he could see what happened.

"Etoile?" Deryl lowered his head to her and looked softly into her eyes "Don't strain yourself too much, maybe you should leave for a bit? Tension is high even for us and to you who can sense it to the core; it must be even worse."

"No, I'm fine." Shelly responded silently "Don't bother yourself with that. I'm used to this – I have felt worse things that this in my life."

"Sensei placed another stone." Ciel and others whispered to their elders "This move is strange."

"Strange?" Ryu looked at the board "It's not that strange if you consider it His move. He wants to prolong this game – since he is unsure of what he wants to do once it ends." The young man mumbled to himself and bit on his lip. If it was in his power he would stop this, no he would turned back time to prevent this game – since he got a strange feeling that the outcome will be bad _'He won't go back with us. His Go desires one that can complete it – Touya Akira.' _

"Pachi!" Akira responded fast but Hikaru just played with a stone in his fingers, he looked deeply into Akira eyes before placing the stone.

"Pachi!" the sound started to take over Akira _'Why are you not listening Touya? I'm trying to connect with you, so we could play together.'_

"Pachi!"

"Pachi!" Hikaru smiled feeling that he was not alone, somewhere buried deep in his soul a piece of Sai's resolve burned brightly _'As long as you will play with this anger we won't make it right... this game can be a realization of our dream, but you still refuse to listen, why?'_

Akira, slowly, was drawn into the sound of Hikaru's stones; slowly he was drowned into the game. His anger started to fade away – resolve to play on his own... melted with the sound. _'What was I doing all this time? I'm playing with Shindo... with Hikaru and yet what was I so angry about? Why can't I hear it more clearly? What does he want to say to me?' _he placed another stone '_We cannot communicate in any different way now and yet I was not listening... why?'_

Shelly smiled gently as she felt a soft wave coming from Akira, from that she knew that the boy had finally decided to listen – that he would try to understand. "Sai must be really happy now." she whispered "His student is getting closer to the goal."

"You are really something, girl." Kuwabara looked at her again "You truly understand not only people but Go as well."

"Hand of God is longed for... but it's not an easy path to take." Isumi stood beside Etoile chair now

"When two equal players sit before the board... we can sense that it's close, but thats not it." Ryu said "Hand of God requires something more."

"Yes, it does – and it may happen now. If not now, then maybe in the future, but now..." Etoile listened to the sound of the stones "It's closer than ever."

Hikaru looked at his rival with calm eyes '_That's right; we need only to play together. With a wish to complete each other – to make the final kifu. There is nothing more – none of our matters are important now. We are Pro... we love Go – think of nothing else.' _"Pachi!"

Akira's lips trembled, his form was shaken – he could feel that their souls were so close, no this board in form of those stones. _'I can hear you.'_

"Pachi!" the sound of the final stone cut 'thru the room, Akira froze in the realization that they reached the end, he quickly let his eyes run by the board.

"I'm glad." said Hikaru "I'm so very glad, that you could hear me in the end – I was growing tired of waiting." his fingers slowly moved the stones so they could count

Akira didn't respond, he knew the result already, he could see that he had lost, by two or three moku – and he knew one more thing. That this game could be better; could be the one they wanted. "I'm sorry." he stood up and moved few step so only Hikaru could hear him "It turns out that it was I who was unworthy. I'm sorry." he didn't looked into Hikaru eyes at all, if he did he would see a shock and pain – but instead he walked away.

"So that's it, Sai?" Hikaru asked softly ignoring everyone who came to congratulate him or ask about Sai, now that he played this great game and won they had to recognize him as Sai's student, on top of that they already knew that he was Shindo. But Hikaru didn't care at all, none of that was important – Akira left... didn't he want to see him? Didn't he want to talk?

Shelly didn't looked at Hikaru face – she wouldn't be able to bear the sadness written on it., she just put her hand on his arm and asked silently "That was Sai, wasn't it?" her fingers gripped on other arm "That was his soul that still lives within you."

"Yes." Hikaru turned to look into her eyes "I thought that you would see him. Was he happy?"

"You know he was. He wants to see you as much as you desire to see him." Shelly responded while holding onto Deryl, she was worn out by the emotional waves she received from this place.

"To bad that Akira is not like that." Etoile frowned at those words and gently lead Hikaru out of the room in the circle of his students

"He doesn't understand; but he will, one day." she responded "I'm sure of it."

Hikaru just nodded, but he had his doubts "I think I got my answer – he doesn't need me." Akira words somehow twisted in his mind "He doesn't want me to play with him."

Shelly bit on her lip "Deryl, take care of him. Kids you just don't hinder them." she walked away with new resolution.

Used words:

**Gomoku Narabe **– _means 'connect 5', its a game in which you are to put five stones in one line before your rival does. It's played on go boards so Akari probably though that this kind of board served to only that one game._

Review :) pretty please:) - **from Eos-hime and Kagomegirl ^_~**


	24. AN Petiton

The administrators of are as of June 4th going to be taking down Fics that have lemons or have extreme violence. Now I don't know about you but I think thats stupid. There are many wonderful fics that only have one or two lemons in them yet the plot itself is awesome! You can't just take down a 100,000+ word fic just because it has a lemon in a chapter that is only 1000 words long. Now I urge you all to read the petition below, sign it, and repost this to your own fics. Hopefully if we make enough noise everything will return to normal. Thank you.

Greetings to the fine folk that moderate our site.

Myself, along with many, have been writing and posting on your fine site for years now, some of the better examples of up and coming writers out there are now suddenly finding some of the stories we've come to love at risk of being removed without the chance to even rectify our errors.

For some, that means the permanent loss of a story. While I don't have anything that I believe violates your terms of use, there are those out there that are never able to recover a story in its original form, this is something I find to be almost worthy of a legal action, as while we cannot claim ownership of a character, the stories are OURS and simply destroying them is something that is inexcusable.

It's quite easy to simply add an MA rating, additional filters or even a simple requirement for a free membership to read the stories presented here, and would cut down on hateful anonymous reviews and posts at the same time, so I have to question as to why such a thing, in all this time, simply wasn't added.

If you're worried about falsification of a registration then have an appropriate disclaimer and then there can be no dispute, you took your steps and the PARENTS didn't monitor their children, if that is even your concern. If it is more of a personal view or desire then please at least let people know and give them a chance to remove a story that you and yours find offensive, most people on the site are actually rather cordial when it comes to such requests.

While I cannot say for sure if this letter will even reach those that may be willing to listen, of if it's more akin to a wide spectrum purge in preparation for something bigger, please understand that you are going to be looseing a LARGE number of your writers, and thus your income from a lack of readers if there is not some level of action taken to help with this situation.

For those that may agree with this, please feel free to sign on and send this to the support server, maybe we can get some movement on this.

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	25. Semi Permanent Hiatus

TO anyone who reads this fic i would like you to know that as of right now this fic is on Hiatus until further notice. if anyone wishes to help out and is good at English please let me know. i need someone who would be willing to write it out with my ideas and Adding your own to augment it more. 


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